Stories like this really get to me.
I don't consider myself a "free range" parent. I feel like, if anything, I tend to be overly paranoid and over protective. I have to make deliberate, conscientious parenting choices that often are slightly outside my comfort zone in order to allow my children opportunities to learn independence and gain confidence. These decisions are made thoughtfully and with my children's best interest in mind. I HATE to think that after one of these decisions (walking to places alone is the perfect example here) that I could be confronted, harassed, and threatened by authorities. I'm glad that people in general seem to be looking out for children, but we need to find a way to accomplish this without sacrificing the rights of good, conscientious parents.
Last year was the first year I began letting my older boys walk to and from school on their own. They were in the third and first grade. I had been accompanying them for the past 3 years and I was confident that they were ready. Everyday, like clockwork, they would walk through the front door almost exactly 15 minutes after the final bell rang, and I would release the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding.
One day they did not arrive at the expected time. I waited anxiously at the window and after 10 minutes passed with no sight of them, I quickly put Liam in his stroller and we set off to find them. We made it all the way to the edge of the neighborhood when I spotted them coming through the gate. They ran up to me and explained that Max had gotten his shoelace caught in the pedal of his bike causing him to wreck. The shoelace was so tangled that he couldn’t free himself. I asked what they did and Topher explained how he tried to help Max untangle his laces and when he couldn’t he asked a teenager walking by for help.
I felt a wave of mom-guilt start to wash over me as I imagined my boys in distress, having to reach out to strangers for help. But then I stopped and looked at their faces. Their eyes were lit up and their faces flushed but they were not scared. They were excited! They felt empowered. They felt like they had accomplished something. They felt proud.
That experience taught them a few valuable lessons that they would not have learned if I had been there:
They learned that they feel safe when they stay together and look after each other.
They learned that when I’m not around there will be others who can step in and help.
They learned how to ask for that help.
They learned that the world is not scary and people are kind.
They learned that when they are not home at the expected time their mom will come searching for them.
