My name is Shannon and I'm addicted to television.
Seriously guys, it's bad. I don't watch TV during the day but every night it's the same thing: I put the kids in bed by 7:30. I tidy up and from 8:30-11 my fat butt is planted on the sofa in front of the telly.
Here's my line up:
Monday: House and The Bachelor (Although The Bachelor just ended and I am vowing to never watch another season again.)
Tuesday: Scrubs and Law and Order SVU
Wednesday: American Idol and Lost
Thursday: American Idol, My name is Earl, Kath and Kim, The Office, and 30 Rock
Friday and Saturday: 20/20, SNL, Catch up with the DVR, and Netflix or Redbox movies
Sunday: Desperate Housewives
I record Oprah, The View, and Ellen daily, although I'll only watch it if there is something interesting on.
(And all this is just with our basic cable subscription. If we had more stations I'd have to add Soup, The Daily Show, and who knows what else.)
We have a DVR which allows me to efficiently maximize my television viewing, but all in all I figure I watch close to 24 hours of television a week. Guys, that's 1/7 of my life (more than 1/5 of waking hours) spent doing NOTHING but sitting like a zombie and being entertained!
Think of all I could accomplish if I were to put those hours to good use. I could learn to play an instrument, learn a language or a craft, have deep meaningful conversations with my husband, or catch up with an old friend. I could exercise. The list goes on...
But here's the thing, at the end of the day all I want to do is watch TV. I LOVE television. I find the mind numbing effect it has on me so therapeutic. My day starts at 6AM and doesn't officially end until 8:30 PM when I'm sitting on the sofa with the remote in my hand. (Oh how I love the feel of the remote resting in my palm.) I am spent. I have no energy left to do anything requiring any degree of thought. Even now it's all I can do to get through this blog with thoughts of the new episode of House waiting for me in my DVR.
Am I trying to justify my laziness? Do I need help? Are there support groups out there? Is my brain turning to mush? Should I do something drastic like cancel our satellite subscription? What are your thoughts?
15 comments:
Oh honey, that just cemented our friendship. I totally hear ya on the TV thing, I'm right there with you. I guess my only problem is I don't see it as a problem (just like I don't think I have a diet coke problem :). I don't think your brain is turning to mush, I just think you have two active tiny boys and your ENTIRE day is devoted to meeting the needs of someone else. Sometimes you just need a little mind vacation. Just think of all of the useful medical knowledge you've learned from watching House, how you've sharpened your crime-solving skills for sexually based offenses with Law & Order SVU, and how to woo America not only with your raw vocal talent, but incredible sense of style. I mean wasted time, really? :)
You could also say that 1/7 of our lives we spend resting from the other much larger chunk of time that we spend working and thinking really hard. You are clearly not an unintelligent person. If you had lived before the invention of TV you would probably spend that same amount of time unwinding in some other way, such as crocheting(?). Reading a fictional novel or listening to the radio are also just forms of entertainment. So the human body prefers to relax for 1/7 of its existence. (Somebody else rested that much didn't they?) Being a theater nerd I do see some value in movies and shows. They reflect our culture and our ever shifting ideas about life, morals,politics, etc. I personally think that there is so much money in the business that there are just too many quality shows to watch nowadays. I think people should be smart about which shows they choose to commit themselves to because you can't just say you'll only watch what's good because there is too much stuff that is good. I share most of your tastes in TV shows but I have to say you should have thrown out the bachelor a long time ago. That show is absolute trash.
I agree with Melissa that after taking care of two little boys all day, you deserve some quality time unwinding. If that entire time is devoted to TV, so be it. I figure so long as you're watching shows you actually care about there's no reason to feel terribly guilty. If, however, there is a show you don't really care about and only watch for the sake of watching TV, then you're probably better off removing it from your rotation.
That said, the very questions you ask in your blog suggest that you would be interested in other ways to unwind--i.e., learning new things, getting in touch with an old friend, or having an intellectual conversation with Chris (which I assume is a metaphor the two of you use for sex). I would argue that all of those are also very good ways to relax and that you're problem isn't that you're unwinding so much, but that TV has a monopoly on your free time. If you are really sincerely interested in those other activities, I suggest you go for it. Probably the easiest way to go about this would be to choose one show, or one 30-minute block a day to devote to something else. This is of course, less of a sacrifice if a rerun is on. Simply turn off the TV and pick up a book. If you do this everyday you could easily read an entire play in a few days, a novel in a few weeks (and if I were your bishop I'd say you could finish the Book of Mormon in under a month). From reading your blog I know that you're interested in a lot of different topics. Take the economy for instance. Why not pick up some intro to economics textbooks from the library? Surprisingly, this reading can also be very relaxing when there's no test or deadline looming ahead.
Otherwise, you may simply be stuck in a rut with your current routine. In such a case I'd recommend diversifying what you watch. With the internet, you can easily download programs from other countries. Why not download some episodes of the Australian Kath and Kim (even though you probably won't understand most of their pop culture references)? You should be able to find lists of the top British sitcoms of 90s, or of all time. Watching these, you'll feel like you're more cultured. With that in mind, both Lyssa and I would recommend the British sitcom "The IT Crowd" not just because it's hilarious, but also because the main female in it is your British twin (which is honestly the main reason we bring it up).
You could try diversifying your Netflix viewing as well. Learning a foreign language is time consuming, so maybe you could rent a foreign film to introduce yourself to a new culture. Or try seeing every single film from a certain list. For instance, you could rent every single Best Picture winner, every film on AFI's top 100, or all of IMDB's top 250. This will make you feel like you're actually accomplishing something with your viewing, not just sitting around being lazy.
O Shannon, Shannon, Shannon you do have an addition. By Encarta’s definition: great interest in a particular thing to which a lot of time is devoted. A true addiction when attending rehab, is when the activity begins to interfere with your day to day accomplishments, activities and relationships or your choices are dictated by your addition.
I highly recommend doing something drastic, go cold turkey and cut the cable cord!! I know this may send you into cardiac arrest but on the other hand you may find that you have so much more motivation to do those things you could be doing.
So my family and I did cut the cable (well more me than we). Not just for the waste of time but for the money. Everyone went through some serious withdrawals not knowing where other parts of the house led too or how to eat at the table but all in all (besides Hannah) we have adjusted very well. Hannah on the other hand asks to watch TV when we go to other’s homes. I believe her addiction has started much too early and may be a lost cause. But hey, it’s common to have one addict in the family.
Yes it is drastic but really my only regret is not doing it sooner. If we want to watch TV we watch it online (Hulu.com). We watch specific shows (many of which you mentioned) and the best part, it is a family event. All of us (minus the little ones) sit down, close together (David and I may even hold hands) and watch and talk about the plot and characters in the show. (The commercials are only 30 seconds!!) If any of the family members are not available to watch it we put it off for an evening when everyone can watch.
Last note, news, yes the news is something lost in my TV service. That, I am afraid, does cause me to feel out of touch with the rest of the world, as if Utah County was not bubble enough, but it forces me to read more about the world news and watch and read what I want to learn and not what is on the networks.
Good luck, the first step to recovery is recognizing you have a problem.
I am so on the fence with this one. So I will present both perspectives:
# 1- Women, and especially mothers, are always last on their own list (and everyone's list to be truthful). They are overworked, underappreciated, mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted (especially if you have little ones) Having a few hours a night to take a "mental vacation" as someone said, is not a big deal. It gives you the rest you need, takes your mind of your problems and destresses you- which in turns makes you a better mom, wife, superwoman..
ok, the other perspective..
# 2- There is a great quote that says "For everything you have gained, you have lost something else". You have "gained" hours of stress relieving entertainment, but what have you lost?
It is hard to break our routine and get our of our comfort zone. It is warm and safe and comfortable there.
The question you have to ask yourself is "is what I am gaining worth more than what I am losing?" Is it worth changing your comfortable habits?
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe this is what you need right now in your life. You are in the trenches of motherhood. Every day is an uphill battle. So, you do what you have to to keep yourself from going crazy!
There are some great comments here. I think this is an issue that we all can relate to. Our current nightly ritual is turning on the TV and Andrew falling asleep about fifteen minutes into whatever show we're watching together, at which point I steal the remote and watch American Idol or Dancing With the Stars. I agree, there are some really great shows out there, and that time in front of the TV is my "ME" time (especially after Andrew falls asleep ;)). But I agree that you can also fall into a rut.
However, I don't think you need to think of breaking this "addiction" as an all or nothing affair. Why not just take one or two nights a week to explore other kinds of "Me" time? DO NOT TRY TO BE PRODUCTIVE AT ALL--no housework, no budgeting the checkbook. You want to find something that will help you relax and zone out like the TV does, but in a different way. Find a fun hobby that you enjoy, especially one that can't be done with small children around. Scrapbooking, if you like (although that doesn't seem like your type of thing), or maybe baking some fun new kind of dessert. Read a trashy novel, or just take a long bubble bath or give yourself a manicure. Use that quiet evening time to pamper yourself. You might find yourself looking forward more to the nights that you take a TV break than the nights you have someting scheduled to watch. Just remember that with the magic of DVRs, all those shows will still be waiting for you the next day.
And, by the way, what is Chris doing while you're watching TV? Does he play the enabler and watch it with you? Have him do the same thing, and maybe you guys will get in some more conversation time to boot. And now I am going to go heed my own advice and find something non-TV related to do at night. Thank you.
I love the quality feedback that everyone has left on here. I especially like Dave's recomendations. In fact I never thought of watching foreign shows and am excited about the idea. I don't see TV/movies as being so sinister. What I see as wicked is crappy brainless TV. I am strongly opposed to watching shows that are not my favorite. Every week I watch The Office, Scrubs,30 Rock, and Lost for sure and honestly that is all I care about. It's not more than 3 1/2 hrs for the week ( not including the ocassional movies)I don't think it's that bad and I don't think you need to bury the television. Just watch that which brings quality to your life. I also like Robin's idea of mixing it up. I would love to play guitar with you or discuss book topics or something like that during that time. I don't think I am an enabler. I am usually reading a book, playing around in Photoshop, or pretending like I know how to play the guitar in the evenings. The shows that I do like however overlap with Shannon's tastes which I like because we can talk about them.
Oh Shannon! I am so glad there are people in the world like me. And I'm ashamed to admit it, but I watch more television than you do! I'm hooked on HGTV and Law and Order (the original, which is aired about 15 times a day on TNT). Plus, even as I'm writing this, both of my children are watching Elmo which I justify by saying that I have a new baby...we stay home...my child needs to do something...at least she's learning...
But I do agree that if I'm not watching trash, it's not quite as bad. A few years ago I decided to give up all television on VH1 because it was hurting my chances for eternal life! I've never looked back! :)Let me know what you decide!
I don't know if Emmalee really has an excuse for not reading more, since I happen to know that Portland has one of the best bookstores on Earth.
I agree with many of the comments. You deserve some down time! As long as you are not watching crap (Like Chris, I am glad you have given up The Bachelor) and you are not letting it interfere with your daily life then don't worry about it. If you are feeling guilty about it maybe you should take some of the suggestions that others have given of other things to do with that time. Just in case you are looking for more shows to watch, let me suggest a couple Sundays-The Amazing Race, Fridays- Friday Night Lights. These are well worth you TV time :) !
You could further tire yourself out, trying to turn your recreation time into something you "should" be doing (like some kind of impressive hobby or something), or you could be proud that you're allowing yourself down time and not feeling guilty about it. The TV's not unhealthy. Feeling guilty about it would be. Just please stop watching the Bachelor. :)
I just wanted to throw out another plug for the IT Crowd, since the whole series is available on Netflix.
I think we all have addictions that we aren't too proud of. If your biggest addiction is to television... then I say-It could be much worse! As far as I know there is no "patch" that helps you give up tv, and no support group either. Maybe put some weights or a yoga mat near your tv so you can pull them out and do a few reps... if you think it will make you feel better. I personally am addicted to my computer... and on it I watch tv. haha Love you! Besides... if we didn't watch tv... what would we talk about at work?
Ooo I love TV too. I think you are fine, watching TV to relax. You sound very busy indeed! I'm pretty busy as well, after working a long 10 hour day, I just want to snuggle on the couch with the dogs and watch my shows!
Doug, you watch your mouth about The Bachelor...
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