What do y’all think of acrylic nails? I think they’re kind of ridiculous. They’re so flashy and silly, totally impractical, and in my opinion a little indulgent (much like my blog). And expensive!
Have you ever noticed how women with acrylic nails seem to move their hands differently, strangely, kind of prissy-like and limp wristed? It seems like they’re trying to show them off, but if you’ve ever worn them you know that’s just the way you have to move in order to do the little, every day tasks. Suddenly things like buttoning up your jeans, opening a can of coke, or pulling your credit card out of your wallet make you look like you’re trying to be a QVC hand model. And that “clickity-click-click” sound they make when typing on a key board?! Shoot me now! The whole thing reminds me of a little girl clomping around in her mommy’s high heels.
I always feel compelled to compliment women with nails like this. Even when I think it’s tacky I find myself ooohing and ahhing over them out of a sense of obligation. Like when someone gets a really drastic and obvious hair cut and you feel like you have to give the obligatory compliment to avoid any awkwardness. That’s how I feel when I see fake nails.
So feeling the way I do, what on earth compelled me to go into the nail salon for a pedicure and leave with a full set of acrylic nails?! I seriously have NO idea how it happened or what I was thinking. It’s like I was possessed… someone had taken over my body.
I was filled with dread during the whole ride home, thinking of all the other things I could have spent that 35 bucks on. That’s practically my whole monthly allowance. No one had seen them yet and I was already humiliated and preparing in my head what to say when given the obligatory compliment, “Ooooh, your nails are so pretty.” Maybe something like, “Oh, I never do this, but my friend talked me into it.” or “Oh, I know they’re silly, but I just thought I’d try them for fun.” Or just, “I’m going to a wedding.”
But to make it worse, Topher noticed them first thing when I walked in the door. He tugged on them and asked, “Cool! Can I hold them. I won’t lose them. I’ll put them in my pocket and keep them safe.” I explained that they are glued on and can’t come off. To which he said, “No fair! Can I have some claws like that?” Several times throughout the night he commented on how sharp my claws are, “Like a dragon! Or a bear!”
Thanks Topher.
*Disclaimer: My apologies to any acrylic nail wearers who might be reading this. Please don’t be offended. I’m sure that your nails look beautiful, natural, and not at all like claws.
16 comments:
I am with you on the whole acrylic nails. The sound drives me up the wall. Here in California it is really bad, they get them so long and gawdy with jewels and glitter. Its like a contest as to who can be the most tacky. But nothing wrong with mani's and pedi's I get them and it does feel good when people notice how nice my hands look, it does happen. I suggest you take Chris with you next time so he can experience a manicure.
I got acrylic's once in my life, for Senior Prom. I loved them at the time.. when it was time for them to come off.. I soaked them, like you are supposed to and yeah they didn't come off so good. So never again.
I do love how soft and smooth my feet are after a good pedicure though.
I used to get the acrylic nails when I was in high school, but then I started to realize that it wasn't worth it seeing as I would just bite them off and they would last less than a week. The last time I got them was for my wedding and they were off by the time we got home from our honeymoon. So not worth it. And now that I know that they look like claws to children, I don't think I'll be getting them anytime soon.
I bet they look really..nice..and beautiful:) I hope you got them fire engine red with little stick on flames or something. What women who wear fake nails don't realize is that they are only impressing themselves and other wearers of fake nails. I think that is how women operate. We do all this stuff to try and impress/outdo each other. AND that is why I will be headed down to the salon today to get a nice set of acylic nails..(I'll post a pic, so you can compliment them!)
I have to admit that I do think they're kind of pretty, the same way fake eye lashes are pretty. I can't stop looking at my hands.
I'm not at all against pedicures. They feel great and I feel like they improve my feet. I'll have to take your advice and drag Chris along next time.
Emmy- Welcome to my blog and thanks for reading!
Oooo! Post a picture! I'd love to see your "claws."
I'm with you on the limp-wristedness (that made me really laugh because I can just picture it) and clickety clack sound acrylic nails make. It is really annoying. When we did Midsummer in HS, I had to wear REALLY long fake nails. I had to ask strangers to open my locker for me, really embarrassing. But I never do long nails because you can't play the piano!
I can't stand having long nails myself. If they get longer than the ends of my fingers I start constantly playing with them until I get so annoyed I cut them off.
The one time I got acrylic nails Andrew had won a coupon at a local drawing for some Korean nail parlor. I'm not sure what they used to put those nails on, but I don't think it was legal. My nails were like half an inch thick. I ended up paying some other salon a bunch to file them off, because I couldn't soak them off.
I will admit though, that fake nails can look very pretty, if you've got pretty hands to go with them. Older ladies (and people like me with chubby fingers) just don't look good with fancy fingernails. I think the best-looking nails are natural and well-manicured, with a neutral polish or french tips. Now, toes are another matter. Go all crazy with your toes and make them as bright and glittery as you want, because, let's face it, toes just look funny anyway.
Oh my, I am so offended. Wait, I don't wear acrylic nails. But I used to. My family actually has a stereotype of the type of woman who wears fake nails, so I would always try to hide them when I went over. Either that or I was just wearing them to piss them off, I think they thought the latter :) Yes, I do think they're annoying, and yet at the same time I love them. It's a love/hate I'm so embarrassed/wow my hands look great kind of a relationship. I stopped wearing them when I taught preschool, because some of the stuff you touch when you're teaching...NASTY. Now I keep them short, but I do miss having SOMETHING on me look half decent.
I never have and never will do fake nails. I probably would eat them anyway. And all those chemicals can't be good for the digestion.
Trying harder to love my natural self while not thinking mean thoughts about people who feel compelled to improve on their own natural perfection. It's all a business, the whole making women feel bad about themselves industry. If only I were pretty, I'd be happy.
It's a lie - a silly, expensive lie. We should be less silly, I think. Buy a book next time. :)
Oops sorry Melissa, seriously I hope you're not offended. I do understand what you're saying about having something on you that looks decent (even though we all know you're hot stuff and your amazing rack will always upstage your nails.) I feel the same way, when I look down and see a perfectly manicured hand I forget that I haven't done my make up or hair that day or that even my fat jeans feel too tight. And I guess from our own points of view we probably see our hands more than any other part of our bodies.
Emmalee, my nails look pretty much like the ones on the picture on this blog only a little shorter. I had to file the thumb nails down nearly all the way when I found that I couldn't get Max out of his carseat with them on. :)Sorry, Lori, no flames or stick on flowers, so it should be easy for you to one up me.
Mrs. B, next time I will buy a book. Any recommendations?
Also, Pam if you're reading my blog, as I know you sometimes do, I use to LOVE it when you'd do my nails. It's much easier to enjoy indulgent things like that when it's free!!
Has my blog reached an all time low, all this talk about my nails? Stay tuned for my next blog: My inner struggle and on again/off again relationship with bangs.
I have acrylic nails. Rude.
Haha, no I don't but sometimes I wonder if I should get them just so a will stop biting my nails so much. But I am like you, it feels like a silly indulgence and I just can't justify paying for them!
Enjoy your new claws!
Those plastic nails look really thick and hard. I bet if I got some I would give up on the nail biting because they would probably damage my teeth. That or I would be so preoccupied with gnawing on the plastic ones that my real nails underneath would get a chance to grow a little. I think I would be too embarrassed to get a manicure because I wouldn't want to present my mangled fingers for anybody to mess around with.
Hilarious...love the claw comment from Topher. I do admire fake nails from afar, especially if they're not to long and "clean" looking, but could never pull it off myself. Could I still wear my old jeans and a t-shirt with my hair in a pony tail if I had nice nails? Or would I have to dress and look the part. Are you having fun "clicking"?
Haaaa, you have claws like Wolverine. You're the coolest mom ever!! Now if you can just button your pants and clasp your necklace you'll be all universal. Sadly you must give up one to have the other. You must now hold your hands (how did you say it) girly like in order to be wolverine.
Chris, just man up and go get a manicure you will thank me later.
Hey now!!! Don't forget who did your first set of fake nails! :)
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