The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence.

This is a post about grass, not the kind you smoke; the kind you mow.

Chris and I moved into our first real home in October of 2008. Before that we had lived in a town home where all the yard maintenance was taken care of by the HOA. Our new house is on a small corner lot and is under .20 of an acre. We are fine with a small yard because right across the street, seriously like 20 yards from us, is a HUGE grassy commons area and a big park- all the space we need to run, frolic, or play ball without any of the work or expense. I think that space like that is important and believe me I enjoy running barefoot through cool green grass as much as the next person, but I’m starting to think that the obsession we have here in the United States as home owners to have immaculate lawns is kind of overrated and a little bit ridiculous if you think about it.

We bought one of the smallest lots possible and still ended up spending a small fortune to have sod put in our tiny yard. Six months of the year we spend an extra $150 - $200/month just to water our lawn. Then there’s the expense of all the equipment and supplies needed to mow, edge, fertilize, aerate, and treat for weeds and pests—not to mention the time required for such maintenance. And for what? We never spend any time out there. More than 50% of our precious lawn covers a steep incline on the side of our house and a parking strip. We do all our outdoor activities across the street at the park. But what would the alternative be? You can’t NOT have a lawn, can you? What would that even look like? No really, I’m asking. Is there an alternative?

We live in a neighborhood that has its fair share of retirees. You can tell which homes are theirs by the perfectly groomed, greener than green lawns out front. Is that really all one has to look forward to upon retiring, endless amount of time to obsess about one’s yard? Are there no other hobbies to pursue or ways to gain self satisfaction other than comparing your lawn with your neighbor’s and complaining about how their lack of upkeep is negatively affecting the property value of your home (the home you’re going to die in)? I’ve seen this obsession bring out the worst in people.

For instance: We share a tiny front yard with our neighbor. She is a lovely woman, in her late 70’s. She’s always friendly to us and our children and we exchange pleasantries whenever we see each other. The first time Chris mowed the lawn he mowed the entire front lawn, including her half of the yard without even thinking twice. The front lawn is only 20 feet wide. It seemed ridiculous to mow an imaginary line down the middle and let the widow next door take care of her own lawn. That night she came over and sweetly thanked us for mowing her half of the lawn but said that it really wasn’t necessary. She could do it herself. We told her, “Nonsense! It’s silly to mow a line down the middle of such a small yard.” Chris assured her that he didn’t mind a bit, and that it was actually easier to mow the whole thing rather than try to maneuver around a 10’x10’ space.

The next week he did the same thing. This time when she came over her tone was completely different, she said, “Again, thank you for mowing MY side of the yard, but PLEASE DON’T. I have a certain way that I like it done and I would just prefer to do it myself.” We were very taken aback, but apologized and complied with her request. Since then there has been a tacky line mowed down the center of our shared yard. It looks so petty to me and I’m embarrassed for people to see it. I know they have to be thinking that Chris is such an inconsiderate neighbor to not be willing to mow the shared lawn of our elderly, widowed neighbor.

Now don’t all jump to her defense and say, “well maybe she takes pride in the fact that she CAN still take care of her own yard and she doesn’t want you to rob her of that satisfaction.” Because that’s a load of crap. She’d still have the side and back of her home, and all her flower beds to take care of. All Chris was doing was mowing her front yard-- the front yard that we SHARE with her. And it’s not like he was doing a crappy job at it either. The fact that she would risk causing a rift with neighbors who she has to live so closely to just so she can maintain the PERFECT lawn just proves the point that people, especially the elderly, are RIDICULOUS about their yards.