This is a post about grass, not the kind you smoke; the kind you mow.
We bought one of the smallest lots possible and still ended up spending a small fortune to have sod put in our tiny yard. Six months of the year we spend an extra $150 - $200/month just to water our lawn. Then there’s the expense of all the equipment and supplies needed to mow, edge, fertilize, aerate, and treat for weeds and pests—not to mention the time required for such maintenance. And for what? We never spend any time out there. More than 50% of our precious lawn covers a steep incline on the side of our house and a parking strip. We do all our outdoor activities across the street at the park. But what would the alternative be? You can’t NOT have a lawn, can you? What would that even look like? No really, I’m asking. Is there an alternative?
We live in a neighborhood that has its fair share of retirees. You can tell which homes are theirs by the perfectly groomed, greener than green lawns out front. Is that really all one has to look forward to upon retiring, endless amount of time to obsess about one’s yard? Are there no other hobbies to pursue or ways to gain self satisfaction other than comparing your lawn with your neighbor’s and complaining about how their lack of upkeep is negatively affecting the property value of your home (the home you’re going to die in)? I’ve seen this obsession bring out the worst in people.
For instance: We share a tiny front yard with our neighbor. She is a lovely woman, in her late 70’s. She’s always friendly to us and our children and we exchange pleasantries whenever we see each other. The first time Chris mowed the lawn he mowed the entire front lawn, including her half of the yard without even thinking twice. The front lawn is only 20 feet wide. It seemed ridiculous to mow an imaginary line down the middle and let the widow next door take care of her own lawn. That night she came over and sweetly thanked us for mowing her half of the lawn but said that it really wasn’t necessary. She could do it herself. We told her, “Nonsense! It’s silly to mow a line down the middle of such a small yard.” Chris assured her that he didn’t mind a bit, and that it was actually easier to mow the whole thing rather than try to maneuver around a 10’x10’ space.
The next week he did the same thing. This time when she came over her tone was completely different, she said, “Again, thank you for mowing MY side of the yard, but PLEASE DON’T. I have a certain way that I like it done and I would just prefer to do it myself.” We were very taken aback, but apologized and complied with her request. Since then there has been a tacky line mowed down the center of our shared yard. It looks so petty to me and I’m embarrassed for people to see it. I know they have to be thinking that Chris is such an inconsiderate neighbor to not be willing to mow the shared lawn of our elderly, widowed neighbor.
Now don’t all jump to her defense and say, “well maybe she takes pride in the fact that she CAN still take care of her own yard and she doesn’t want you to rob her of that satisfaction.” Because that’s a load of crap. She’d still have the side and back of her home, and all her flower beds to take care of. All Chris was doing was mowing her front yard-- the front yard that we SHARE with her. And it’s not like he was doing a crappy job at it either. The fact that she would risk causing a rift with neighbors who she has to live so closely to just so she can maintain the PERFECT lawn just proves the point that people, especially the elderly, are RIDICULOUS about their yards.
10 comments:
First of all, whoa, that really was all about grass. I was expecting the post to be a bit more metaphorical. I should then say that this is a pretty contentious issue between Lyssa and me. She wants us to be able to have a lawn so our kids can play on it. If I had my way though, we'd live in a condo and use public parks because I refuse to maintain a lawn. I take absolutely no joy in it and have no plans to make a hobby of it when I'm older.
This issue gets compounded when we're talking about living in places where both God and nature never intended anyone to have lawns. If they did, it would rain more. It's one thing if you're living out East where it actually rains, but in the arid West what can I say? In this case, maintaining a lawn is an affront to God.
So what's the alternative then? Well, if we accept that a desert is in fact not ugly (it's actually quite beautiful), we can take the best the desert has to offer and landscape our yards with it. This is called xeriscaping, or desert landscaping. Google some images of it so what I mean. It's actually all the rage in wealthy retiree communities in places like Arizona and New Mexico, because it looks like a million dollars. It's ultimately cheaper and easier to maintain, and blends in really well with the surrounding scenery because it's made up entirely of flora that God put there in the first place.
Now admittedly, this may not be the best if you have little kids, since the landscaping consists largely of rocks and cacti, which tend to hurt curious children. But then again, if you uprooted your sod and xeriscaped it real nice, you and Chris could sit out in the yard drinking lemonade every Saturday morning, watching all the chumps mow their lawns.
Oh man, don't get me started on the elderly:) If people are going to think negative thoughts about you and Chris over the line in the lawn..instead of trying to minimize it, or being upset, I say embrace it and take it to the next level! Squabble with her over every inch of lawn, the condition of her home, seasonal decorations, etc. Put up a little fence on the exact line. Give her something to be angry about..it keeps the blood pumping!
Anyway, this has nothing to do with the topic, but it came to my mind as I was reading it. My sister's sister in law (husbands sister) has two sons. She worked right after she had the first one and said that she planned to quit with the second one and be a SAHM, but then changed her mind and went back to work for a year or two because she and her husband needed to pay for professional landscaping. She even said to my sister "I thought about it and realized that my children would be playing on that lawn..I had to do it".
I think I am rambling incoherently in this comment because I am SO excited that you posted something!! You need to POST everyday!!
My husband obsesses about our back yard. It is beautiful. With a half acre of land, most of it in grass and gardens, it is like having our own personal park. The grandkids love it, the neighbor kids come for treats from the fruit trees and garden, and it is a quiet retreat for us. I complain about the expense and time it takes, but I really like tht we have it. Wait until you get older, you may find you like the slower pace of doing things just the way you like them done.
I admit, I am a lawn lover. However, I have never had a really good lawn. All growing up and in our house in Riverton, the grass was lumpy, sparse, dry, and usually dead by mid July. A lawn of some sort is a must for me for several reasons: it gives the kids a place to play, it's beautiful to look at, it reduces dust and dirt (seriously, with our unfinished backyard, the dirt is awful! I have to sweep and mop my kitchen like twice every day), it actually literally cools down you down on a hot day, and I could go on.
Now, yes, we live in a desert, and that makes it difficult to maintain a vast expanse of English-style verdancy. However, there are varieties of grass that are drought tolerant and do very well on little water. If you are spending that much on watering a month, you might want to look into digging it all up and planting a different variety.
Also, just because grass is nice
doesn't mean you have to do all grass. Your lot would look really nice with some sort of a retaining wall along your west side. That would reduce your grass area, but still look nice. Then you could xeriscape around the edges (which, by the way, isn't all cactus. There are plenty of desert-friendly flowers and shrubs). Put in a good-sized patio that you can sit out on and enjoy your lovely creation, and you've reduced your actual amount of lawn to maintain by half or more.
Oh, also, I've heard several times that Utahns have a terrible tendency to overwater their lawns and plants. If your lawn looks like it's dying, then it's more likely to be because of overwatering than underwatering. Also, the landscaper we were talking to said that if you don't put a good 3-4 inches of topsoil under your sod, unless your natural soil is awesome (which it never is here) your sod will most likely never flourish.
Well, big shocker, but I'm going to agree 100% with Dave and say go with xeriscaping. It's the most responsible thing to do in Utah, and it's still unique so if you do it right people will admire your yard as something cool and different. (Hopefully.) The Jordan Valley Water Conservancy District has some cool programs and demonstration gardens to give you good ideas of how you can use xeriscaping without it looking too weird or over-the-top: http://www.conservationgardenpark.org/
Oh wait, I have more. In addition to using less water and requiring less time and effort to maintain, xeriscaping and native landscaping do a lot of other good things. They help battle the "monoculture" problem, which is when entire swaths of land are dominated by one type of plant. Monoculture is bad for native wildlife like birds and insects, who need some biodiversity for eating, nesting, etc. It can also be a problem if a disease that affects a certain type of plant shows up - if just one person's lawn is impacted by any given blight, that blight is much more able to spread and affect entire neighborhoods when the whole neighborhood is filled with the same species (say, I dunno, Kentucky bluegrass, which is the most popular lawn in Utah).
Also, native plants have evolved defenses against native pests, so you save a lot of money on pest control (not to mention you don't have to use toxic chemicals that are dangerous to you and your kids).
And you mentioned that a large section of your yard is sloped. That allows for some great flexibility in your xeriscaping, since you can put slightly more water-intensive plants lower down the hill with the really hearty drought-resistant plants at the top. When it rains and water flows downhill, the thirstier (though still desert-appropriate) plants get more water than the ones at the top of the hill. You can have fun with that and get some good variety in your yard that way. It's why so many people artificially terrace their yards.
I was going to suggest replacing the lawn with plants, but some of your previous commenters seem to know a lot more about this than I do! My husband is actually looking forward to having a house so that he can mow the lawn. But we've only lived in parts of the country where lawns are quite natural. And I'm a big believer in letting them go brown during summer droughts. It's just not worth the water.
tell the neighbor to mow your side of the lawn! i miss you!
Wish my neighbors would mow my lawn ... Wish my lawn was a bunch of low water rocks and junk. Wish I didn't have a trash heap on the back yard, or that since I do, at least it would tell me smart stuff and help me ponder the questions of life. Wish my husband liked fresh air and sunshine.
Feeling grumpy ... better go post.
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