So I have to admit that sometimes I really get confused about our understanding of God. When we dig down to the roots of God’s plan there is one fundamental concept that does not resonate well with me. Maybe you can help me understand why I should worry about it because on a practical day-to-day level I suspect that’s all it really does, makes us worry.
It has long been established in the Western tradition that God cannot look upon sin with the least bit of allowance. For some reason the god of the universe is not just emotionally but somehow physically repulsed by sin. Prophets infer that embedded within the natural laws of the heavens is a physical law in which perfection (water) and imperfection (oil) cannot occupy the same space. We don’t know why but apparently it is so.
This creates a dilemma for our loving God who has numberless children who will unfortunately be consumed by the flames of his goodness if they try to look upon him unprepared. This problem evokes a reference to the character of Rogue in the X-men comics who has been cursed with an uncontrollable mutation that causes her to absorb the energy of anyone who has physical contact with her. Even those people that she deeply loves cannot allow themselves to get too close to her in case, in a moment of weakness, they give in to their hearts to kiss or caress her and fall down dead completely drained of life. Her dilemma is truly heartbreaking because we all know if there is one thing that we all value it is love and connection with others. Since God is a loving God, we know that he must share that same desire. To see the pain in the eyes of all those people who want to be close to him but are by definition unclean must surely be a curse.
I think viewing this repulsion as a natural law of the universe is easier for me personally to reconcile with a loving God rather than believing that he just personally detests anything unclean or different from his image. The former God would love me as I am but understand that there is a barrier that I must cross to get to him. The latter does not like me right now as I am currently in an inferior phase of development. He would not stay in the same room with me. This God does not see complexity in the world but is willing to send me away to exist forever in unhappiness if I question one of his orders.
This barrier to reconciliation lies at the heart of God’s plan for our salvation, in fact the entire plan is established as a way to overcome this basic law of repulsion. We will not be happy unless we are in God’s presence after we die yet his presence sounds more like the flames of hell for all those who do not bare his reflection.
It’s interesting to note that many people living on this planet are unfamiliar with this law of the universe and the true nature of God. These people have been living and dying for millennia unaware that they are fundamentally flawed. It’s sad to imagine that hundreds of thousands of people could miss the real point of this existence and waste their whole lives just trying to be happy and wise.
How would things be different in my daily life if this heavenly law of repulsion did not exist? What if my God was not unlike myself raising my own children? I love them. I am affectionate, I guide them, and I do not expect them to understand everything. My sons make stupid decisions sometimes (which I expect) and they deal with the consequences. If my son Max jumps off a high chair that I warned him about and he splits his lip why should I take that as a personal insult? He’s learning from experience.
At no phase in his development would it be useful for me to tell him that one day I will leave him if he doesn’t become exactly like me, that I will no longer stand to be in the same room with him if he embraces another truth or another path to happiness other than the one I provided, that I will lock the door to my house if he is not sufficiently convinced or satisfied with my wisdom.
The times when I feel like a bad parent are the times when I am upset at a child because of my pride. They are not acting any differently than anyone would ever expect from a growing kid but the sin is mine when I think that I own them and I have full control over their path. It’s my problem if I decide to distance myself from them because of their natural flaws, not theirs. I can offer wisdom and love and hope that they learn to value the same things as me but they may not and yet still be legitimately happy or if they suffer because of poor decisions they don’t need to know that my love will be retracted in addition to the natural consequences they may already suffer.
Again, I want to hammer in that point: When your child exercises poor wisdom and brings suffering upon himself it is the parent's problem if he is ashamed and turns away from the child. Why would he be ashamed? Where would that shame come from? Both he and his son want to be happy but the son tried to obtain his happiness in a way that his father knew was risky.
Doesn't it seem plausible that the shame would come from the fact that the child simply didn't trust his father's wisdom unquestionably? Does this also infer a challenge about who is right? And what child has the audacity to challenge a parent? There are many things that a father can feel confident being right about, even if his child is a little behind but what type of a person feels diminished when their sole ownership of truth is questioned?.......... Well I do sometimes but I have to admit that I expect a little something more from God. If he really is a jealous God it makes sense why you deserve an extra punishment in addition to the natural consequences of your actions for daring to question him.
Shame........from the creator of the universe.........for what?
Let's repose the scenario just mentioned but this time we'll say that the child broke something expensive. The father is angry and starts to tell his son how he won't stand for such behavior and how he plans to send him far away where he can live with other idiots who break nice stuff. While the father is still fuming a neighbor, who has been listening from a distance steps in. The neighbor says,
"Excuse me. I'm terribly sorry about your situation. I can totally understand why you would be justified in sending this young boy away for breaking your expensive stuff. He obviously couldn't handle the responsibility of staying in your immaculate mansion in the long run without making more mistakes, but I have a very special empathy for your son sir. I have personally experienced the pain this child feels because I was a youth summer camp instructor and I saw sooo many boys make poor decisions and break lots of stuff. So I would like to cover the costs of any damage inflicted by your son in the past and I will cover anything he does in the future to lash out as long as he really thinks about his mistakes, recognizes how unhappy they make him feel, and then promises to do things that bring him and everyone else real joy. I will be happy to give him plenty of great advice and show him the love and empathy that you are justified in withholding. After all, you have a kickin house sir and I wouldn't want to see anything stain it. The father, recognizing that he now has nothing to lose begins to smile. "You really get me neighbor. You're the type of boy a dad could call his favorite". He is now pleased and everything is mended because he knows that whatever happens (son makes bad decisions, son embraces his father's way) he wouldn't have anything damaged in his kickin immaculate mansion.
Soooo....remember this story is only to illustrate an idea. It's not meant to be sacrilegious I promise. Does the father seem any more lovable in this depiction? But why not? Everything got fixed, even his unspecified expensive thing that got broken. It seems like eventually father and son will be able to occupy the same house (if that's what the son actually wants).
I'm sure at least some readers will be confused at what I'm really trying to get at here. Maybe I've lost your respect at this point for casting deity in the role of a grumpy abusive father in my story. Why should this matter to me? Why is a quirky person like me concerned about this idea? Maybe it's because I feel every one of my sons has been perfect since they stepped foot in this world. Their natures are not offensive to me. All I want for them is happiness and fulfillment. I certainly think there are other ways to help them find it besides jealous threats of abandonment. They simply need to recognize what they already are at their core. Perfect.
Anyway, while we acknowledge that the judgmental God with vanity issues must exist so that we can know we are right and others are wrong, It’s more useful for our day-to-day to think God is the unconditionally loving one. The one who will forever help you onto your feet when you fall, The one that will be there for you when you are in a self-made hell and not judge you for your foolishness. This is what I feel from God, acceptance, patience, and the purest unconditional love.
I certainly hope my Creator doesn't have issues with me that keep him at arms length when I see him again. In the mean time, I just plan on enjoying my family, being the best person I can be, and breathing in the beauty of this life.
7 comments:
I really appreciate this post. I think you summarized an important and key dichotomy that we all like to gloss over. Can it be both ways? Can God know and love us unconditionally AND be unable to tolerate the least degree of sin?
I feel (feelings ... so reliable) all our mistakes were known and accepted before we got here. I've been leaning more towards the idea that sin is necessary for learning and progression. Truly. As we struggle to lean to control our souls (spirit + instinct driven meat sack) we "mess up".
I don't think He ever leaves us; I think we plug our ears and yell "nahnahnahanah" for a while, but as soon as we seek Him again, He's always been there.
I've been thinking of life less as a test and more of a test drive maybe. I miss blogging... :)
Aaah, too much to write! But i hear ya. Have you read jesus:a tale of enlightenment by deepak chopra? That book changed my life...and no, the author isn't christian. Anyway. One day we'll talk about all this stuff. But i'm with ya. Great post!
I think Mrs. B has a great point--our Heavenly Father doesn't withhold his love from us, no matter what mistakes we make. He doesn't only love perfect people (There wouldn't be anyone to love, if that were the case!).
Let's look at your man in the mansion example in another way. Let's say that throughout his life, the Father has been collecting rare and priceless treasures from around the world. Each item is unique and irreplaceable and has a deep emotional significance for him. Would he be a bad father if he insisted that his three-year-old son not kick his ball in the house or the room where these items are stored? No, of course not. He realizes that his son in his present state is not capable of fully appreciating the value of these objects, nor does he possess the judgment and self-control to avoid breaking them. Does the father want to keep his son away from his beautiful things because he loves them more than his son? Does he want to keep them to himself? No! When the son matures and is old enough to hear about the stories behind the objects, recognize their beauty and understand their priceless value, the father would be happy to allow him access to the rooms where these great treasures are kept. The son is at a point where he can be trusted with handling the most important things.
If as an ignorant child, the son broke one of these priceless things, the father would not stop loving his son. This (ideal) father would not be mad at him, but would feel great sorrow that the priceless treasure had been broken. However, he knows that until the son is old enough to know how to act responsibly, he must be kept away from the treasures.
I agree again with Mrs. B--life is not a test, it's a classroom. It's not a series of questions that we get right or wrong, and boom, we either passed or failed. Hopefully each mistake we make helps us to work towards making better decisions the next time around. It's like I read in a recent conversion story (the one I posted on Facebook): We can't play a Tchaicovsky piano concerto if we're still struggling with playing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". We have to learn and grow and stretch ourselves to be able to experience the joy of playing that beautiful music.
I want to state right off the bat that my comments will make the least sense and have the least spiritual significance. Now that I've cleared that up..I don't always think that 'separation from God' signifies a physical seperation. Maybe it does, probably it does. However, I kind of believe that its more about a mental and spiritual seperation. Like God is a loving father whose home is always open, but you don't feel comfortable going there drunk and dressed in rags. NOT because he would kick you out, but because you wouldn't feel comfortable and you would hate to see him suffer being worried about you.
In my opinion we all have a very warped understanding of what God's definition of perfection is anyway.
I think a lot of us live from a 'list' perspective. Like "served a mission- check" "married in temple- check" "canned for the homeless- check". This wouldn't be such a bad idea if we didn't always add a lot of unneccesary and irrelevant crap to it- like "have a big house and a big calling- check" and "girls all dressed in matchign outfits for church- check".
Anyway, thanks for the inspiring post. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this blog and it does not get updated as often as I would like, but when it does it is AMAZING!
"I agree again with Mrs. B--life is not a test, it's a classroom. It's not a series of questions that we get right or wrong, and boom, we either passed or failed. Hopefully each mistake we make helps us to work towards making better decisions the next time around. It's like I read in a recent conversion story (the one I posted on Facebook): We can't play a Tchaicovsky piano concerto if we're still struggling with playing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". We have to learn and grow and stretch ourselves to be able to experience the joy of playing that beautiful music."
Your comment really resonates with me Robin. Thanks for your response. I absolutely agree with you too but when i think about this last comment I personally feel that it is somewhat inconsistent with what I was actually taught and how most Christians interpret their doctrine .
If there is a judgment how can this not be a test? Maybe we find it helpful to see this judgment as not being the euphoric harp playing or burning pit thing that traditional Christianity portrays it as (even though scriptures plainly state that it is experienced that way to the individual (gnashing of teeth etc) I know this question sounds bad (I promise it comes from an honest desire to understand) but why should there be any kind of judgment?
To me a judgment makes it seem that by a predetermined time you should have selected the right answer but if a person has not arrived at the "right" answer it is because they, like the destructive child in the story, do not yet understand. So God has to be the one to say, "He SHOULD understand by this point."
It seems you are saying that life is like the resource dept at school (do they still call it resource?) God patiently helps the slow kids learn at their own pace. If it takes eons after their death to understand what is right based off of experience that is fine. The over-arching point to this idea is that the the child understands. In fact the right answer, perhaps selected by chance or provided by the teacher on a multiple choice test, would not mean anything if the child did not undertstand why it was right.
What you said is consistent with my personal experience but sometimes I feel like we're stretching to claim that this is what is taught in the scriptures. I get a very dualistic, absolutist, impression from what I read. As though the point were not to learn from implementing Christ's teaching into your life but rather the important thing is the actual choice of recognizing Jesus as the only valid teacher who is in competition with all the other teachers even those who are pointing to the same truths.
Chris. Christopher. This is one of the most insightful, most simple-yet-profound explorations of the nature of God's temperament that I have ever read. I am absolutely humbled and blown away by the way you presented this. I have no answers - agnostic idiots like me are really good at loving the questions but offering no solutions - but I am so proud to be your friend because of your sincerity and honesty. Your love for your sons is at the heart of your quest for God - that's the purest, least-selfish, most admirable reason I've ever heard for someone to ask the unanswerable questions.
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