In Loving Memory of a Former Facebook Friend

Many parents are unaware of how privileged they are in this day and age. This is a very distinct time in history where our culture is starting to integrate into a new way of interacting through social networking sites. The younger generations are quickly embracing this new technology while older folks struggle (as I’m sure we will one day) to understand the relevance of a site like Facebook where we post random thoughts and comment on the updates of our friends. Because of the inconvenience of not being connected, sooner or later even your parents will probably feel they need to figure out what the whole thing is about.

Although Facebook is relatively new, our culture is already establishing unwritten rules of etiquette regarding proper behavior within this forum. The punishment for any lack of respect is simply to be quietly cut off from that network. No explanation or notification is required. You will simply lose your privileges of being in the know.

What a great opportunity for those lucky parents that are cool enough to be accepted by their children as a facebook friend. No parent should take this gesture of trust lightly because your child is basically saying that you can hang out and listen while he talks to his friends. Hopefully, most parents recognize that their input is not always necessary or even appropriate.

This is actually one of the main areas of concern that most people have with Facebook, it’s too open. We connect with different people on different levels and we tend to emphasize commonalities and downplay differences. I don’t think that makes someone two-faced. We are just required to compartmentalize the way we present ourselves to different people. Perhaps some people think that they need to be the same person around their friends, and bishop, and boss, and family--who am I kidding? No one thinks that. Even if you think that, it probably isn’t true. We need to have the ability to control and manage our different relationships and Facebook can make it a little difficult.

A wise parent will take advantage of Facebook. They have a choice opportunity to see a different (and probably more authentic) side of their children. Do you really know what music your kids like? Do you know their real political views? Who they are dating? Where they go clubbing? What trashy shows they watch? All this information and more can be yours if you learn the art of restraint.

Parents are allowed to quietly lurk. This is usually tolerated, but be careful, there will be many opportunities where you will be tempted to act like the mom or dad you are and try to throw some guilt or disapproval at your child (even if he is 30 years old, and married with 3 children). You will get no special treatment in the world of Facebook my friends so don’t blow it.