Congratulations! It must take real effort to be such an ass!

During my time in the hospitality industry I have had my share of encounters with rude guests. But every now and then one will rub me the wrong way and get under my skin so badly that I have a really hard time getting over it. So as part of my self diagnosed therapy I’m going to blog about these encounters as they happen.

Today’s encounter was with a guest who had a problem with our security policy which requires us to see picture ID before reissuing suite keys.

Guest: I left my key in my room and I need another one.

Me: (Cheerfully)Yes sir, what’s your room number please?

Guest: 123, Smith

Me: Great, (I begin making key) I just need to see some picture ID.

Guest: (Starts to reach around for his back pack and hesitates) I’ll show you my ID, but my name is not the name on the room. But I’m not a terrorist so just give me a key.

Me: (Still smiling but very sympathetic) I’m sorry, Sir, but I can’t give you a key if your name is not on the room. Would it be possible to contact the Smith’s and have them authorize us to give you a key?

Guest: (Clearly angry) Wh-what? Hmpf! No. This is ridiculous! I’m not a freaking terrorist!

Me: I don’t think you are, sir, but we have this policy in place to protect our guests. I’m sure you can appreciate that.

Guest: What I would appreciate is you letting me into my damn room instead of standing there wasting my time.

Me: I understand. Are you sure there’s no way of getting a hold of them?

Guest: Yeah, they’re in the room.

Me: (Trying to hide my annoyance) They’re in the room?

Guest: Yeah!

Me: (thinking then why the F do you need a key?) Perfect! I’ll give the room a call.

I begin dialing room 123. It rings. There’s no answer.

Me: There’s no answer.

Guest: This is ridiculous! How would I know that the smiths are in room 123 if I wasn’t with their party?! You’re wasting my time and my time is money! (Keep in mind that it’s a Saturday and this guy is dressed like a complete granola tree hugger and had just come back from the climbing gym.)

Me: I’m sorry sir,
(but your belligerence and impatience is very suspicious to me. How do I know you’re not trying to get into the room of your estranged wife, so you can be there waiting to beat the crap out of her for leaving you. That happened in a Danielle Steel book I read.)

Then he said something really stupid that I still don’t really get
Guest: How would you like it if I came in here while you were working and asked you to come out and wash my car?

Me: (Blank stare)

Guest: You’d say no, because you’re working and time is money.

Me: Oh. my. gosh. (“Oh my gosh” is the closest I have ever come to having a confrontation with a guest.) Tell you what, I’ll just walk you to your room myself and then if you can show me something in the room with your name on it, like a luggage tag or something, we’ll call it good.

Things were tense as we walked so to lighten things up I said:
Me: I know are policy seems really strict, but we really do have our guest’s best interest in mind. Have you ever seen one of those 20/20 specials…

Guest: I don’t watch TV.

Me: Oh… well… I’ve seen one where they send undercover people into hotels to see how easy it is to obtain keys to just any room from hotel clerks that aren’t doing their jobs properly. I like to assure our guests that we take their security very seriously here.

Guest: Yeah, because EVERYONE’s a terrorist, or a crook, or a robber, or a murderer. Well I don’t chose to live my life like that. I trust people! I try to see the good in people!

We walked the rest of the way in silence.