For as long as I can remember I’ve been fat. Even when I was thin I was fatter than other girls my age. If you’ve known me for any length of time I’m sure you’ve been aware of some time that I’ve been on one crazy diet or another in an attempt to lose weight. Well, not anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I have no plans to let myself go completely, I just REFUSE to allow my weight to be an issue of stress and insecurity any longer. Why this change of heart? I think in part it’s because with the birth of my babies I’ve seen my body do amazing things. It’s really hard to loath a body that for nine months was the home and sole source of nutrients for the two most important people in my life.
Also, in the process of becoming more self aware, I’m trying to set realistic goals for myself. I am simply never going to be super skinny. I love food way too much. I dare say I love food more than the average person. It would require way more work and sacrifice than I am willing to give at this time. As it is, I feel like I work damn hard to maintain my current weight. I try to make it to the gym 3 times a week and I’ll occasionally slip in one or two extra work outs at home. I watch what I eat to a certain extent. 8 days out of 10 I really am ok with what I look like. I don’t love being in a swim suit, but I don’t avoid activities that require one either. I can pack one kid in a baby back pack and put two in a stroller, walk a mile to the park in the hot sun and not get winded. And, as my good friend Melissa pointed out a long time ago, I only take up one seat on an airplane.
I’ve also discovered how my fat serves me. (Let’s be honest, if it didn’t I might make it a higher priority to lose weight.)
Reason #1: Women aren’t intimidated around me. I give them a basis of comparison where they always come out ahead. In a social situation women are always happy to see someone among them who is fatter than they are, I’m that girl! It makes them feel better about themselves and also helps them feel comfortable eating. They can look at what I serve myself and as long as they don’t eat more they’re in great shape. Who doesn’t love a girl who can eat?! I can get away with talking and being friendly to their husbands without them feeling threatened in any way.
Reason #2: I can and do really enjoy food. I usually eat one sweet treat a day, something I couldn’t get away with if I was trying to be supper skinny. Also, if I miss a work out here or there I don’t stress about it.
Reason #3(my favorite reason): People assume that I’m GREAT in the sack. Let’s face it, when people see a really attractive guy with a chubby girl they think, “Wow! She must be a real generous lover!” Now I’m not going to confirm or deny anything, but I like it being assumed that I’m a good lay.
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5 comments:
Shannon, you are absolutely gorgeous and an excellent lay indeed. I would hate to be married to a woman that I couldn't chill with in front of the tv and eat cookies or ice cream with. We love food and why should we let the world convince us to be ashamed of something that brings us happiness huh? I don't think any psychologist would say that a poor body image is healthy but i dunno.....if that image (though completely incorrect) is what keeps you so hot in the sack......well.....I think you gotta stick with what works right? Just be careful, I hear that women don't like it when gorgeous girls pretend to hate their bodies. Every friend I have ever had by the way thinks that you are a knockout....but keep the humility thing going. I'm really buying it.
Love you
Oh, whatever. If you are fat, then what am I? I'll tell you. FATTER! Therefore, I'll be that girl for you, so you can feel better about eating, OK?
But, seriously, I've just decided that there's a time and a season to all things. The time of young motherhood is not the time to be the hottest fittest buffest girl at the gym, unless you are a celebrity who can hire a nanny, a physical trainer, a nutritionist, and a hair and makeup artist. Enjoy the pros of this time and and worry about losing the weight later (like me, now that Lily's in preschool--the time has come!)
Oh, you are so wise, and so funny. That last line about how you must be a generous lover...I was just saying to Ivan the other day, "People probably would think I would do anything in bed, you know, because the fat girl is the best in bed because she is grateful." (I'm sure he just wishes I could act more grateful, but he is lucky for what he gets.:) I honestly have never ever thought of you as fat. You have a fab figure, and you have always had this amazing tiny waist that I would kill to have. I do love your points about why you're not going to obsess about it, but I don't think the label 'fat' could really stick with you. It's all in your mind, my beautiful friend. You are a great writer. Keep it up, I love it!
Wow. What a good way to get everyone you know to comment on how you are in fact not fat, but really hot.
Everyone is so bent on appearances these days. It's more important to LOOK healthy than to actually BE healthy. Hence, anorexia. But that's just absurd cause in forty years we're all going to look like crap, but some of us will still have pretty strong hearts and other internal organs.
Just keep making your body feel good (exercise, eat right most of the time, indulge some of the time, and do whatever your husband wants in the sack) and your body will make you feel good in return. Well, maybe not that last one.
I love food too. And you've never, ever been fat.
And yes, you are a great lay.
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