I Am A Mormon

Have you ever taken a moment to pull out of you your day-to-day routine to step back and observe your cultural zeitgeist from a distance? The word Zeitgeist basically refers to “the spirit of the times” or the general, cultural, ethical, spiritual and/or political climate of a group of people (thanks Wikipedia). Do you ever wonder how the technological advancements and the general attitudes of our day will be viewed in retrospect?

What an exciting time to be alive. It is such a privilege to be an observer and participant of the current cultural shifts. I wanted to share what some of my observations have been about developments in the world and what I think it means to my religious community specifically. I would be interested in hearing your opinions as well (as long as they are nice).

I think the impact of the Internet, and especially social networking sites on our consciousness are equal (if not greater) to the influence of the printing press. The Internet was definitely a huge step in establishing a connection with the world at large, but it has been good ol’ Facebook that has helped us to step over and take advantage of this technology. Many of us have recognized the benefits of connecting to our friends and family and once we have been integrated into basic networking the conversation continues to extend to other like-minded people from all over the world. We find ourselves interacting with friends of friends (of friends) in discussion threads. It is easier to track down and follow those people who have unique ideas and perspectives and to contrast them against their opponents. I have friends and business contacts all over the country (and even the world) thanks to the technology of the Internet and the contribution of that nerdy Mark Zuckerburg.

Blogs are significant, in my opinion, as well. To get something published in the past required the author to be skilled and worth paying for. Now anyone can be a published contributor to social issues. Everyone has been given a voice and, based off of their ability to hold interest they have the potential of gaining an audience to interact with as well. Personal blogs have demonstrated the ability to influence elections and turn the tides of thought. Many people, like myself, view a blog as a journal or personal record and get joy out of writing even though very few will ever read it. There is a thrill that comes with exposing ourselves to the world and seeing if anyone cares about what we think and feel. Every now and then someone does and it makes it all worth it.

So what does this mean for us? How will it influence our zeitgeist socially, politically, or religiously?

First, I think that information is more readily available to us. True, there is an abundance of poor quality information, but if a person is taught what to look for they can quickly find reliable peer-reviewed information as well within moments (as opposed to hours looking through books in a library).

I think this makes all of our institutions more accountable. It will be much harder to manipulate the minds of people when they are all able to connect and readily share information. Governments, religions and businesses have all tried to filter information to some extent in the past but now issues are becoming more and more transparent.

If you know me personally, you probably know that I love religion. I love chewing on big questions. My religion (Mormonism) is currently only less than half a percent of the world’s population, but I love thinking about what the future of my community will look like as it continues to grow and find its place in the world (or conquers it ;).

Within Mormonism specifically (a religion that was established well after the advent of recorded history), I think that we will experience pressure from both faithful and unfaithful members to adopt a much more open approach of interaction about our past. Many are in denial that there ARE any problematic aspects to our past but I think this unsympathetic opinion typically comes from those individuals who have never really evaluated it themselves.

There are many LDS historians like Richard Bushmen and Todd Compton who know all there is to know about LDS history and have still retained their faith (albeit a complicated faith). This demonstrates that difficult issues about our history can be reconciled, but it is no secret that our church has been hesitant, shall we say, to candidly address historical issues and their implications on our modern religion. If members want to understand the true nature of a prophet for example, providing them a white-washed, glossed over, representation will not be satisfactory for a generation of people who have journals and scholarly works at their disposal. They WILL investigate deeper and a stance of openness is the only approach that will surmount the oncoming hoards of curious investigators.

Although the church has neither addressed problematic historical issues in depth nor provided a descent forum for members struggling to faithfully reconcile this information, the Internet has provided the space for members all across the faith spectrum to interact and openly evaluate the goods and bads of their faith tradition. Many who choose to not participate in these discussions may be skeptical of the benefits of such interaction, but a vast number of other people have embraced it and believe that openness is the only correct way to proceed. These people are following the spiritual charge to seek out truth and are willing to bravely move forward knowing that some of their previous conceptions may need to be adjusted in order to make room for additional light and knowledge. Through this investigation beliefs may become more complicated, or perhaps are in danger of erosion, but over-all the conversation is refined and the pearls of truth rise to the surface. Ultimately, these people agree with Socrate’s statement that the unexamined life is not worth living.

In the past, struggling members have been pressured to adopt one of two acceptable responses to a crisis of faith; accept the church as it currently is, or move along and be demonized with the apostates. This is the message that many dissenters receive.

Online however, members are given many other options (BWA HA HA). There are several groups of eclectic Mormons who all share a common interest and love of Mormonism who find themselves at some middle ground in a tug-of-war between faith and reason. These Mormons seem to reject the strong dualistic options provided by the church yet still find great value in certain aspects of Mormonism. They may still hope that one day in the future God will grant them more understanding but, at the present moment, they may remain conflicted about some specific aspect of their tradition, or maybe they don’t literally believe the church’s foundational claims but find them useful for living a happy life or maybe they have been profoundly affected by the teachings of a non-christian tradition. They identify themselves with titles such as, New Order Mormons, Café Mormons, Zen Mormons, Liberal Mormons, Post Mormons, Cultural Mormons, Jack Mormons, Unorthodox Mormons and Gadianton Mormons. …Just kidding about that last one.

Are you uncomfortable yet? For most traditional faithful members there are probably multiple red flags going off at the mention of groups that allow for a non-absolutist approach to a faith that is often presented as black or white. It’s worth stating that 2/3 of our church is inactive and that the majority of self-identified Mormons would classify themselves within this Gray zone. Knowing how to approach these “fence riders” can certainly be tricky but would we prefer to push them off our fence, or find a way to accommodate their inquisitive, meddling minds?

I would like to point out (cautiously) that I myself experienced a crisis of faith and struggled for years over how to process my cognitive dissonance. This doubt was not brought about by personal sin (unless you really DO believe that doubt is actually a sin which is creepy) The conflict came from a sincere desire to understand truth and although I searched prayerfully, I was never confident that there was any faithful member that I could open up to about it. Honestly, It hurt really bad and I have never felt so isolated and abandoned. Our church rewards passionate conviction and is embarrassed by needling skepticism, yet we are expected to be skeptical about competing philosophies and truth claims.

It was voices from the aforementioned villainous groups (and some very loving and concerned individuals) that convinced me to remain an active member to this day, but on my own terms. I was sincerely touched by the honest concern that I felt from good people who had experienced the doubt and frustration I was experiencing and provided the space and reassurance, that the church did not, to honestly evaluate my beliefs.

From this perspective I was able to come to this realization…..(ahem)…

“I am a Mormon damnit! I am a quirky (annoying?) part of the family who has sprung from the loins of our quirky polygamist ancestors and if you really care (as you are obligated to) then you’ll put up with me. Forgive me for holding to the beauty I have experienced in this faith while taking ownership of the fact that many things have just not been revealed to me in as convincing a manner as they may have to you. As long as prophets have an imperfect track record (which has always been the case) I will continue to give serious criticism to any concept that feels wrong in my heart (unapologetically). At the same time I will try harder to open myself to truth wherever and from whomever it comes. I don’t care about “lines of authority” when it’s my “personal line” that validates all other lines. My God wants me to search for understanding, not intellectual out-sourcing. I firmly believe this to be true and I don't think Mormon doctrine conflicts with it."

I say give the title of “Mormon” to whoever wants it. I feel that the idea that all of the members sitting next to you in the pews on Sunday have the exact same beliefs as you just because they are there is a little naive. But I’m sure all of them feel the church is the right place to be at that time. We all want to be happy and we have a beautiful shared narrative to launch us on our journey.

Many believe that our founding stories and documents are literally true as they are portrayed, many do not, and many don’t care whether they are true or not. They are simply looking for peace and have found it within Mormonism. If God knows a better way to connect to someone, maybe we should step aside and have confidence that it will work out with out our manipulations. What do we do in the mean time? We LOVE them and we shut up and listen. If God really wants us to search for and embrace truth, maybe we should even consider the perspectives of the unorthodox to add to our understanding (yeah I went there…….gulp).

Currently the church is launching a PR campaign (http://www.mormon.org/people) spotlighting eclectic Mormons and stressing that they are valuable to our collective LDS identity. Many of these individuals represented (inter-racial couples, members struggling with same sex attraction, working women, small or single parent families, etc.) would have been frowned upon or marginalized in our church’s past. Do we really believe that they are valuable or are we threatened by innovative artists (sorry Greg) and Musicians (sorry Janice) and intellectuals (sorry Glenn) who bring all that they are to the conversation? (The comments in parenthesis are obviously based on my truly biased opinion).

Many people are attracted to the LDS approach to life for a variety of reasons. Is there something wrong with someone who chooses to stick around and hold on to what the church is offering or are we consumed with the idea that this church is only about complete conformity? How quickly, when a controversial political or social subject arises, do we figuratively draw a line in the sand and demand that struggling members decide if they are "with us" or "against us". If these words have come out of your mouth I beg you to revisit the situation with awareness and please just try to be quiet the next time around, even if that's how you really feel.

Wow, this blog really started being about one thing and then surprisingly became something else. You could never expect such klutzy writing from a professional which is why blogs are awesome.

My name is Chris Brewer. I am an artist, A questioner, a really shoddy philosopher, guitar-player, skateboarder (as of last week), and Krav Maga practitioner and…

I AM A MORMON!

Am I that unlikeable God?

So I have to admit that sometimes I really get confused about our understanding of God. When we dig down to the roots of God’s plan there is one fundamental concept that does not resonate well with me. Maybe you can help me understand why I should worry about it because on a practical day-to-day level I suspect that’s all it really does, makes us worry.

It has long been established in the Western tradition that God cannot look upon sin with the least bit of allowance. For some reason the god of the universe is not just emotionally but somehow physically repulsed by sin. Prophets infer that embedded within the natural laws of the heavens is a physical law in which perfection (water) and imperfection (oil) cannot occupy the same space. We don’t know why but apparently it is so.

This creates a dilemma for our loving God who has numberless children who will unfortunately be consumed by the flames of his goodness if they try to look upon him unprepared. This problem evokes a reference to the character of Rogue in the X-men comics who has been cursed with an uncontrollable mutation that causes her to absorb the energy of anyone who has physical contact with her. Even those people that she deeply loves cannot allow themselves to get too close to her in case, in a moment of weakness, they give in to their hearts to kiss or caress her and fall down dead completely drained of life. Her dilemma is truly heartbreaking because we all know if there is one thing that we all value it is love and connection with others. Since God is a loving God, we know that he must share that same desire. To see the pain in the eyes of all those people who want to be close to him but are by definition unclean must surely be a curse.

I think viewing this repulsion as a natural law of the universe is easier for me personally to reconcile with a loving God rather than believing that he just personally detests anything unclean or different from his image. The former God would love me as I am but understand that there is a barrier that I must cross to get to him. The latter does not like me right now as I am currently in an inferior phase of development. He would not stay in the same room with me. This God does not see complexity in the world but is willing to send me away to exist forever in unhappiness if I question one of his orders.

This barrier to reconciliation lies at the heart of God’s plan for our salvation, in fact the entire plan is established as a way to overcome this basic law of repulsion. We will not be happy unless we are in God’s presence after we die yet his presence sounds more like the flames of hell for all those who do not bare his reflection.

It’s interesting to note that many people living on this planet are unfamiliar with this law of the universe and the true nature of God. These people have been living and dying for millennia unaware that they are fundamentally flawed. It’s sad to imagine that hundreds of thousands of people could miss the real point of this existence and waste their whole lives just trying to be happy and wise.

How would things be different in my daily life if this heavenly law of repulsion did not exist? What if my God was not unlike myself raising my own children? I love them. I am affectionate, I guide them, and I do not expect them to understand everything. My sons make stupid decisions sometimes (which I expect) and they deal with the consequences. If my son Max jumps off a high chair that I warned him about and he splits his lip why should I take that as a personal insult? He’s learning from experience.

At no phase in his development would it be useful for me to tell him that one day I will leave him if he doesn’t become exactly like me, that I will no longer stand to be in the same room with him if he embraces another truth or another path to happiness other than the one I provided, that I will lock the door to my house if he is not sufficiently convinced or satisfied with my wisdom.

The times when I feel like a bad parent are the times when I am upset at a child because of my pride. They are not acting any differently than anyone would ever expect from a growing kid but the sin is mine when I think that I own them and I have full control over their path. It’s my problem if I decide to distance myself from them because of their natural flaws, not theirs. I can offer wisdom and love and hope that they learn to value the same things as me but they may not and yet still be legitimately happy or if they suffer because of poor decisions they don’t need to know that my love will be retracted in addition to the natural consequences they may already suffer.

Again, I want to hammer in that point: When your child exercises poor wisdom and brings suffering upon himself it is the parent's problem if he is ashamed and turns away from the child. Why would he be ashamed? Where would that shame come from? Both he and his son want to be happy but the son tried to obtain his happiness in a way that his father knew was risky.

Doesn't it seem plausible that the shame would come from the fact that the child simply didn't trust his father's wisdom unquestionably? Does this also infer a challenge about who is right? And what child has the audacity to challenge a parent? There are many things that a father can feel confident being right about, even if his child is a little behind but what type of a person feels diminished when their sole ownership of truth is questioned?.......... Well I do sometimes but I have to admit that I expect a little something more from God. If he really is a jealous God it makes sense why you deserve an extra punishment in addition to the natural consequences of your actions for daring to question him.

Shame........from the creator of the universe.........for what?

Let's repose the scenario just mentioned but this time we'll say that the child broke something expensive. The father is angry and starts to tell his son how he won't stand for such behavior and how he plans to send him far away where he can live with other idiots who break nice stuff. While the father is still fuming a neighbor, who has been listening from a distance steps in. The neighbor says,

"Excuse me. I'm terribly sorry about your situation. I can totally understand why you would be justified in sending this young boy away for breaking your expensive stuff. He obviously couldn't handle the responsibility of staying in your immaculate mansion in the long run without making more mistakes, but I have a very special empathy for your son sir. I have personally experienced the pain this child feels because I was a youth summer camp instructor and I saw sooo many boys make poor decisions and break lots of stuff. So I would like to cover the costs of any damage inflicted by your son in the past and I will cover anything he does in the future to lash out as long as he really thinks about his mistakes, recognizes how unhappy they make him feel, and then promises to do things that bring him and everyone else real joy. I will be happy to give him plenty of great advice and show him the love and empathy that you are justified in withholding. After all, you have a kickin house sir and I wouldn't want to see anything stain it. The father, recognizing that he now has nothing to lose begins to smile. "You really get me neighbor. You're the type of boy a dad could call his favorite". He is now pleased and everything is mended because he knows that whatever happens (son makes bad decisions, son embraces his father's way) he wouldn't have anything damaged in his kickin immaculate mansion.

Soooo....remember this story is only to illustrate an idea. It's not meant to be sacrilegious I promise. Does the father seem any more lovable in this depiction? But why not? Everything got fixed, even his unspecified expensive thing that got broken. It seems like eventually father and son will be able to occupy the same house (if that's what the son actually wants).

I'm sure at least some readers will be confused at what I'm really trying to get at here. Maybe I've lost your respect at this point for casting deity in the role of a grumpy abusive father in my story. Why should this matter to me? Why is a quirky person like me concerned about this idea? Maybe it's because I feel every one of my sons has been perfect since they stepped foot in this world. Their natures are not offensive to me. All I want for them is happiness and fulfillment. I certainly think there are other ways to help them find it besides jealous threats of abandonment. They simply need to recognize what they already are at their core. Perfect.

Anyway, while we acknowledge that the judgmental God with vanity issues must exist so that we can know we are right and others are wrong, It’s more useful for our day-to-day to think God is the unconditionally loving one. The one who will forever help you onto your feet when you fall, The one that will be there for you when you are in a self-made hell and not judge you for your foolishness. This is what I feel from God, acceptance, patience, and the purest unconditional love.

I certainly hope my Creator doesn't have issues with me that keep him at arms length when I see him again. In the mean time, I just plan on enjoying my family, being the best person I can be, and breathing in the beauty of this life.

The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence.

This is a post about grass, not the kind you smoke; the kind you mow.

Chris and I moved into our first real home in October of 2008. Before that we had lived in a town home where all the yard maintenance was taken care of by the HOA. Our new house is on a small corner lot and is under .20 of an acre. We are fine with a small yard because right across the street, seriously like 20 yards from us, is a HUGE grassy commons area and a big park- all the space we need to run, frolic, or play ball without any of the work or expense. I think that space like that is important and believe me I enjoy running barefoot through cool green grass as much as the next person, but I’m starting to think that the obsession we have here in the United States as home owners to have immaculate lawns is kind of overrated and a little bit ridiculous if you think about it.

We bought one of the smallest lots possible and still ended up spending a small fortune to have sod put in our tiny yard. Six months of the year we spend an extra $150 - $200/month just to water our lawn. Then there’s the expense of all the equipment and supplies needed to mow, edge, fertilize, aerate, and treat for weeds and pests—not to mention the time required for such maintenance. And for what? We never spend any time out there. More than 50% of our precious lawn covers a steep incline on the side of our house and a parking strip. We do all our outdoor activities across the street at the park. But what would the alternative be? You can’t NOT have a lawn, can you? What would that even look like? No really, I’m asking. Is there an alternative?

We live in a neighborhood that has its fair share of retirees. You can tell which homes are theirs by the perfectly groomed, greener than green lawns out front. Is that really all one has to look forward to upon retiring, endless amount of time to obsess about one’s yard? Are there no other hobbies to pursue or ways to gain self satisfaction other than comparing your lawn with your neighbor’s and complaining about how their lack of upkeep is negatively affecting the property value of your home (the home you’re going to die in)? I’ve seen this obsession bring out the worst in people.

For instance: We share a tiny front yard with our neighbor. She is a lovely woman, in her late 70’s. She’s always friendly to us and our children and we exchange pleasantries whenever we see each other. The first time Chris mowed the lawn he mowed the entire front lawn, including her half of the yard without even thinking twice. The front lawn is only 20 feet wide. It seemed ridiculous to mow an imaginary line down the middle and let the widow next door take care of her own lawn. That night she came over and sweetly thanked us for mowing her half of the lawn but said that it really wasn’t necessary. She could do it herself. We told her, “Nonsense! It’s silly to mow a line down the middle of such a small yard.” Chris assured her that he didn’t mind a bit, and that it was actually easier to mow the whole thing rather than try to maneuver around a 10’x10’ space.

The next week he did the same thing. This time when she came over her tone was completely different, she said, “Again, thank you for mowing MY side of the yard, but PLEASE DON’T. I have a certain way that I like it done and I would just prefer to do it myself.” We were very taken aback, but apologized and complied with her request. Since then there has been a tacky line mowed down the center of our shared yard. It looks so petty to me and I’m embarrassed for people to see it. I know they have to be thinking that Chris is such an inconsiderate neighbor to not be willing to mow the shared lawn of our elderly, widowed neighbor.

Now don’t all jump to her defense and say, “well maybe she takes pride in the fact that she CAN still take care of her own yard and she doesn’t want you to rob her of that satisfaction.” Because that’s a load of crap. She’d still have the side and back of her home, and all her flower beds to take care of. All Chris was doing was mowing her front yard-- the front yard that we SHARE with her. And it’s not like he was doing a crappy job at it either. The fact that she would risk causing a rift with neighbors who she has to live so closely to just so she can maintain the PERFECT lawn just proves the point that people, especially the elderly, are RIDICULOUS about their yards.

My Sweet Escape

Anyone who knows Chris knows that he is a very passionate person. He’s a thinker, a philosopher, and a seeker of knowledge. He loves studying new ideas, theories, and philosophies. I am definitely not his intellectual equal nor would I ever pretend to be. His last blog post is a good example of the type of thing he ponders on a regular basis. In fact, he wrote that post one night when he couldn’t sleep. He was anxious to have me read it, hoping to have a thoughtful discussion on the topic and all I could say was, “this is what you think about when you can’t sleep?!” I’m just waiting for the day that he leaves me for someone smarter and deeper.

And while I love and admire this characteristic about him, I have to admit that it can sometimes be a little annoying -- like when he gets really excited (passionate) about a new idea or principle and immediately applies it to his own life (i.e.: becoming a vegetarian after reading The China Study). Which I suppose isn’t a bad thing, after all, what’s the point of acquiring new knowledge if you’re unwilling to apply it to your own life? But for the innocent bystander wife, happily plugging along in blissful ignorance, it can be a little exhausting. I’m usually very supportive, but his newest –I don’t even know what to call it –Stance? Platform? Cause? hits a little too close to home for comfort. Chris is trying to ban refined sugar from our lives.

It started about a week ago when Chris found an article on line. (I don’t know where because I refused to read it.) I guess it was pretty scientific and had a lot of information about the evils of refined sugar comparing it to a poison or a drug like crack cocaine and stuff like that. He found the article very alarming and eye opening and was disappointed when I wouldn’t get on board. But I told him, “Look, I don’t smoke, drink, do drugs, or gamble. I’m not addicted to sex or shopping. But I like sugar. It’s my only vice. I know it’s bad for me, but of all the evils out there is sugar really that bad? So what? I give up sugar and I live a few years longer? Well what’s the point of living if I can’t enjoy life? and I truthfully am not convinced that my life would be enjoyable without it. So I’m not going to read your stupid article because it’s not going to change my mind!!”

I know what you’re thinking, “spoken like a true addict.”

Well since Chris wasn’t getting anywhere with me he decided to move on to a more malleable audience. I didn’t realize to what extent he had recruited our children to his anti-sugar campaign until the following day when I went to the bank. I requested suckers for the kids but instead of opening his and devouring it quickly like he usually does, Topher stared at it suspiciously. He then looked at me and asked with an accusatory tone, “Mommy, why are you giving me this? Daddy says that sugar is poison.”

Great Chris, now you have our children thinking their mother is trying to poison them. That definitely won’t do anything to mess up their little psyches.

A few days later I called him on his way home from work to ask him if he’d stop and get me a little somethin’ somethin’. It was late and the kids were in bed. I was trying to enjoy the new episode of Modern Family but without a sweet treat it just wasn’t the same. He refused, letting me know in no uncertain terms that he would not support my habit. I begged and pleaded, I even played the pregnancy card to no avail. He stuck to his guns. Later when he got home he tried to soften the blow of his new self imposed lifestyle change by explaining, “You asking me to bring you home a treat is the same as asking a recovering heroin addict to bring home some heroin. I can’t get it for you and not eat it myself. And it’s not fair for you to ask.”

Fine, I realized I could no longer count on Chris to be my supplier. So the next day I made a batch of cookies. I gave away half the batch to neighbors and put the remaining dozen in a zip lock bag and hid my stash in the freezer. I didn’t have to eat them right away; it was comforting enough just knowing they were there for those times that I really need a fix.

Well, dear readers, that time came today. I was having a particularly stressful day. Things kept going wrong and my patience was running thin. In a moment of peace and quiet with Topher at preschool and Max having quiet time I thought how nice it would be to sit down at the computer with a sweet treat. Ah, yes, that would be just what the doctor ordered. After a few minutes of rummaging unsuccessfully through the pantry and cupboards I remembered my stash in the freezer. Grateful for my previous foresight and wisdom I ran to the freezer only to find that my stash was GONE!

There could be only one culprit, Mr. Anti-Sugar Buns himself. I called him at work and sure enough, he confessed to the whole thing. Now being an addict myself I can’t get too mad at him and his apparent hypocrisy. In fact, I was almost moved by the obvious shame I heard in his voice when he came clean to eating the entire bag. So while I was upset that my cookies were gone, I’m smart enough to see how this will help me out in the long run. It’s something I can hold over his head the next time he refuses my pleadings to bring me home a sweet treat. And no, that type of manipulation is not below me.

You're so vain. You probably think this world is about YOU

Disclaimer: If you’re the type of person that gets offended this will probably offend you so please stop reading………..……and please stop being so offended all the gosh darn time! I hold you personally accountable if you continue.

Do you ever remember jokes or comments that you thought up as a kid that seemed so funny to you at the time but now you are a little embarrassed at how simple and stupid they were? You know that you are the only person on the planet that remembers them but you are little embarrassed nonetheless.

I remember back when I was in church, as a kid, with my chair leaned back against the wall (like ya did when you were too cool for Sunday school). During class I would try my hardest to think of something witty that would impress my friends (Sunday school teachers just love this compulsion for validation in boys I’m sure).

I have no idea why this memory popped into my head but I recall on more than one occasion asking my Sunday school teacher…

“Sooo…were Adam and Eve like Neanderthals cuz weren’t they the first people?” (Spoken like a seasoned class clown).

….Yeah that’s it. I know it’s not even really a joke is it? (But consider that you didn’t get to witness the delivery). I just thought it was hilarious for some reason. The teacher showed us pictures of a Ken and Barbie couple wearing classy cuts of animal skin hanging out in a garden. Wouldn’t it just be killer funny -thought my immature brain- to imagine Eve as a thugly cavewoman and not a hot blonde? I think my best friend even laughed but in hindsight a well executed fart noise may have stirred the crowd up some more. Boys will be boys.

I’m sure I had seen a National Geographic special on evolution and I probably felt cool that I even knew what a Neanderthal was ( It was a cool ass way of saying caveman that’s what it was!).

As a child you are given pieces of information on different subjects. There are of course many large holes in the picture that are sometimes deliberately left open (such as why or how daddy goes about putting that baby in mommy). It is your job to ask “Why why why why why why why….” To fill in the holes, like my adorable 4 yr old son does (and I never get bored of answering :) ).

It’s interesting how and from where your knowledge gets filled in as you grow. As a kid I knew that National Geographic seemed to know what’s been happening with people right up until the time that they became beautiful -and started living on a freshly mowed tropical golf course where whales unfortunately have very little wiggle room in the small resort ponds- but after that point my Sunday school teachers seemed to know where things were going as far as purpose and all that.



It seemed very important to remember that the whole Adam and Eve thing is where it started. That’s the line god drew when he decided that people are going to start mattering from here on out. Maybe everything before that just existed as a means to genetically grow some awesome bodies from scratch to be inhabited by Adam and his trophy wife just like in the movie Avatar. Who am I to say why things were done that way. It was like 6,000 years ago wasn’t it?

One very cool thing about the LDS religion is that it is very liberal or open minded in regards to the little details. Many Christian faiths do not allow themselves this sort of flexibility in interpretation which I think is a little unfortunate because they have to convince themselves that the Grand Canyon was created just a few thousand years ago. I know of many LDS members who have accommodated scientific discoveries about evolution into their faith with ease. I think there are also many others who feel that there is always something sinister brewing within the bubbling beakers of Godless scientists and we should probably not spend as much time paying attention to their hypothesizesezs as we should spend reading our scriptures.

For an LDS member an appeal to authority is not a good problem solver for the evolution discussion because there have been some Presidents of the church proclaim that evolution is evil garbage and others who are open to the possibility that god brings about his purposes through natural processes. If both President Joseph Fielding Smith and President Mckay (who had very differing feelings on the matter) were still alive maybe they could arm wrestle to decide the winner on this one. After all the hassle I think the LDS church has pretty much decided that what has happened on the Earth for millions of years before we showed up has little to do with our salvation and is not very important in the whole scheme of things.

Connecting these loose ends together about history, religion, and origins can be difficult for any person that’s really serious about figuring it all out. By it I mean THE IT; The unanswerable answer to life the universe and everything (42); The ultimate explanation that nobody will ever really know for sure about until after they take the one-way ferry ride across the river Styx...or you know…..…just….die.

When I start thinking about this amazing planet and why the hell I’m here there’s one question in the literal sea of questions (okay figurative sea) that keeps nagging at me…

“How do I even know that it’s all about me?”

Let me explain because I thought I’d thought about this but I don’t think I ever really did in any depth until recently. Actually I just read a novel titled Ishmael that brings this stuff up. It was a very thought provoking read.

There is one overarching theme in regards to the purpose of our existence that both Academia and religion seem to agree on and that is that nothing started mattering until roughly 6,000 years ago. This is when history began (or at least important history) which is maybe why everything before that time is referred to as Pre-history. When we think about our origins we always choose this as our starting place. This might be because we don’t know too many details about what people (or hominids) were like before then.

But we DO have some significant information about that time. We know that there were definitely bigger chunkier versions of ourselves extending back a long time before 4000 BC. By a long time I mean a LOOONG time. Right now the scientific community is drawing the line between primate and hominid around 5-7 million years ago (It’s wise to give yourselves a few million years flexibility in these things). But either way take a moment to absorb the contrast in timetables; 6,000 years and 5 million years. Our massive history extending all the way back to Samaria (or wherever) is just a dot compared to the long timeline that covers the progression of our species from monkey-man to agriculturalist.



When did they start being like us I wonder? When did they start feeling real feelings? When did they stop acting like animals and began to really observe their environment and culture in a way like ourselves? It’s hard to even pin down what attributes separate us from other animals. It seems like we are more capable of seeing the big picture and planning ahead in a way most animals can’t. We seem to understand concepts and ideas in much greater depth and we can talk about them (of course that is all just based on our perspective).

What is really the biggest difference between the “us” that began 6,000 years ago and the “us” that existed before that, the “us” that acted more like an animal?

I think one of the biggest differences is that we came to the conclusion that this whole creation was all about us. The whole friggin thing is ours. All the creatures and resources of this Earth are here as gifts to help us realize our destiny. It’s easier to understand why a cow was made for us more than a deep sea Angler fish but there’s got to be a reason why the Angler fish belongs to us as well (If not just to inspire awesome Sci-Fi monsters) right?

It seems like there could almost be a law that exists in nature that all creatures follow in which they are all allowed to compete for resources but never go so far as to hunt out and destroy all of their competition, but we are the first species to challenge that law. There seems to be a mutual respect and balance that exists in the natural world. If you have watched The Lion King recently Mufasa has expounded greatly on this issue.

This idea could be totally off base and over-idealized as well. Who says it’s not natural to ensure the survival of your species by any means possible? It seems like even viruses just want to live and multiply, but their time becomes limited as their resources for survival diminish.

The difference between the new “us” (4000 BC-->)and the old us (<-- 4000BC) is one of ideology. The new us is convinced that our species is the only one that should have no limits to its growth; That our species should have control over all the earth’s resources. We are convinced that the earth should bend to our will because it belongs to us. We are its stewards. God grew us like seeds in a garden over millions of years and we are the long-awaited fruit. Everything else is going to the compost heap.

If the earth was a micro-organism and you could observe it from a distance under a microscope how would you make sense of the growth and domination of one species over the entire organism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_population_estimates) So we’re at a point where we are expected to add a billion humans to our population within 20 years. That number is just going to shrink exponentially). It used to take hundreds or thousands of years to double our small population. Soon we will be doubling that already massive number (6 billion) every 10-15 years. As you saw this growth in this population what would you think would be the motivation of those tiny humans and why wouldn’t they understand that the whole thing only really works in a state of balance? If anyone gets too selfish it all eventually falls apart (at least for the humans).

Well we know what our motivation is. We understand that we are fulfilling our purpose. Up until us I doubt any other creature thought there was any other purpose to their existence other than rejoicing that they were alive to experience something incredible. I don’t think they were concerned (or capable of being concerned) with the big picture, only with being happy.

I think fear also plays a role in our motivation to control. We are afraid that we might somehow be grouped in the same category as all the other ignorant forms of life on the planet and we know we are more special. We are also afraid that we are going to disappear in as insignificant a way as they seem to. We are afraid to die and we will do whatever it takes to become immortal.

Please don’t jump to conclusions. I’m not saying anything extreme about reverting to the wilderness to reclaim the glorious life of a caveman. I am not saying anything about who or what should live or die. All I am pointing out is what is. For good or bad, God’s will or not, this is our current situation.

This attitude absolutely does exist throughout most of humanity. It does not matter if you believe in god or not. There is an underlying foundational belief that we have the right to make all the decisions concerning the future of this earth. We have the right to position ourselves as the main beneficiaries of all of those decisions at the cost of any other living thing. Either that privilege was gifted to us from god or because we got smarter faster than anything else did. We are the most important. That is a perceived right that we will never willingly relinquish.

It does not take a genius to understand that this mentality is not sustainable. It may seem like it is a good enough game plan to span the existence of your family and your family’s family for a few generations to come but eventually the complications will snowball into something bad for mankind. I guess we just hope that by that time we’ve become smart enough to handle any curve balls thrown at us because of our tampering. Perhaps that will be the Star Trek phase of our growth.

Anyway, let me revert back to the original question.

“Is it really all about us?”….Really? When we see an ant crawling on the ground do we really think that the ant's existence really has something to do with us? Is it there to entertain us? To bite us? Is it's importance defined only in relation to ourselves? Does the life of a fish at the bottom of the ocean, that is totally unobserved by humans, still have its own purpose and significance or are fish just filler for the majority (71%) of the earth that doesn't have people running around? Why did God bother with anything that cannot be appreciated by us?

Are we certain that this is even the attitude that God would want us to have? Are we certain about the literalness of having dominion over all creatures and resources?

I don’t have any answers because it’s hard to imagine things being any different from how they are now. All creatures want to survive and we are the ones smart enough to ensure our security above all others, but we know we can’t continue like this indefinitely. Perhaps we will just keep going on until everything is so screwed up that god has to shake this planet like an etch-a-sketch or perhaps our species will eventually just destroy itself while some lower species continue to do their thing until we eventually get some higher forms of intelligence who might make better decisions.

Thoughts?

Do you trust your dentist? by Chris

So I have a complicated relationship with my dentist. When I first walked into his office I saw a sign hanging on the wall that reads: We cater to cowards. Now that is my type of dentist! When you sit down you are given a pair of sunglasses which is certainly so that the cute nurse won’t see the look of terror in your eyes when you see the cane-sized needle come out on that shiny metal tray.

I always had to remind my previous dentist that I needed an extra dose of anesthetic because I have a unique condition where it doesn’t work on me quite as well as normal people. He seemed to think you should give a patient one dose until they get a zap and then you can give them a second after a tear rolls down their cheek. I was willing to be numb enough to swallow my tongue if it meant I didn’t have to feel a thing when it was drill time. In fact I am in favor of being put out totally for my dental work. Now why isn’t that an option yet?

My new dentist has an amazing gift. I honestly don’t feel a thing, not even a pinch when that needle disappears into my gums. He is very arrogant but it is a type of arrogance that is very reassuring. When your dentist removes a crown placed there by someone else, sneers at the shape of the tooth underneath, and points out the flaws of the previous dentist’s technique to his nurse you feel you are in good hands.

He wields his drill with the confidence and speed of an old western gunslinger and smiles down at his completed artistry. He needs no pat on his back because you can tell that he is very aware of his standard of quality.

“Wow!” Says the nurse (possibly prompted to make such remarks),” That looks better than what I saw demonstrated in school. You are the king of root canals Dr.”

(sigh of agreement from the dentist)

So, obviously I like him and I like his work but here is the flip side. He can’t stand the site of an old-school metal filling. He is determined to remove all metal from my mouth and replace it with beautiful state of the art tooth-colored resin (or whatever it is). He blabs on about how the new stuff doesn’t contract and expand because of temperature and it is not carcinogenic like the old metal fillings, but I can see in his eyes that he is just disgusted at seeing anything in one of his patient’s mouths that looks old and clunky. He wants my mouth to be Lexus or Mercedes quality when I am fine with a Camry level of dental work.

How do you really know if replacing a filling is the best choice? A tooth tends to die when it has gone through too much trauma. Is it better to have an old rusty filling that seems to be doing its job satisfactorily, or a nice tight new filling that soon makes the tooth die and need a root canal? I doubt he would say that is the case but it doesn’t seem like a coincidence that my wife and I are needing lots of root canals lately.

I received my first root canal just a few weeks ago and now the tooth right next to the last one is starting to ache the same way. I question if the decay he planted there at my last visit has taken hold (please see attached Eddie Izzard video).

So what type of dentist is better, The car mechanic dentist that tells you every little thing that you need to fix as though it’s all going to fall apart if you don’t do it right away or the dentist that understands you don’t always need to launch a preemptive attack against every dental concern until there is actually a real concern.

If I were filthy rich I would just have all of my teeth replaced with beautiful porcelain veneers, but I’m not. I can only handle one small thing at a time.

I have been giving in to pressure and getting all the work done that he recommends and it has been damn expensive. I have one more crown until I have my Mercedes mouth but now all these root canals are coming up and I feel like I’ll never get my teeth in perfect condition.

I don’t know if I really trust him but he’s fast and very good at what he does. Does anybody else face this sort of dilemma?

I decided to attach my two favorite comedy bits on Dentistry. Eddie Izzard is my all-time favorite comedian. I almost cry every time I watch this. Be aware that there is some language at about 3:20. You might want to just watch up until that point. Bill Cosby’s bit on Dentistry should be in the comedy Hall of Fame. It is classic stuff. Please enjoy.

My first post in months... don't expect anything great.

So if you had been an angel silently taking notes at our house this morning. This is what you would have written down to take back and report to the big guy.

Shannon: “Come on, everybody! Let’s go. If we don’t leave now we’ll have to sit on the hard chairs.”

Up until this time Chris had been helping the kids get their coats on and had thought that we would be skipping sacrament meeting and just going to the last two hours as usual.

Chris: “Whoa, whoa, whoa. We’re going to Sacrament meeting? Why?! It’s hard enough to space out for two hours. I can’t do it for three!”

Shannon: “Yeah Chris, we’re going. Come on. It’s been a long time since we’ve been to the full three hours.”

Chris: “Yeah, there’s a reason for that. No, I’m not going. I’ll stay home with one of the kids—“

Topher: “—Yay!! I get to stay home with Daddy!!”

Shannon: “No, we’re all going. Come on, Chris. I have to go at least once a month to remember why I don’t like going. It makes it easier to justify not going the other weeks.”

So we went, although Chris conveniently “forgot” the bag containing the lesson manual and had to go back home for it after dropping me and the kids off. The question is, do we get positive points for attending, or negative points for our attitudes? And are angels really silent notes taking? I guess that question is irrelevant since now I’m not-so-silently posting our grievances on our public blog. Just trying to make the angel’s job a little easier.