Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

The other day one of my really close friends was expressing his complete and utter disdain for an individual that he considers "cheap." I know the object of his disdain fairly well and as far as I can tell this was the individual's only quirk. Aside from his frugality he is a really nice, funny, and caring guy. It kind of bothered me that my friend could not look past that single trait and get to know this individual for the great guy that he is. I asked him about it, explaining that everyone has their quirks: I can be fickle and overindulgent (to name just two), his wife, I pointed out, won't ever make a decision, and Chris can sometimes be a little self centered. Why is it that he can forgive us these quirks and still be our friend but the act of being frugal results in an automatic black listing. To which he replied, "I don't know, It's just not something I can get passed."

At first his answer seemed completely unreasonable, but it got me thinking if there are any character traits that I find unforgivable. And I realized that there is... over confidence in women. I'm saying confident to be fair but the truth is that when I'm around a confident woman I'm really thinking that she is arrogant and conceited. And that is so wrong, because when I'm around a confident man I'm impressed by his confidence and find it a turn on. If he's down right arrogant, I might find it annoying but still a little adorable. I know...HUGE double standard, and from me a former femanista. So then I had to ask myself if I rather someone show false modesty, and the truth is yes I would. I guess I reason that even if I suspect their display of modesty is false in a way they're saying that even though they think they're all that, they at least recognize that maybe not everyone else feels the same. (Unless of course they're just looking for even more validation to their wonderfulness, then that's just sickening.)

At first I thought this was a huge sign of how emotionally immature I am, but it's not that I'm intimidate around successful women. It's not a jealousy thing either. I have some amazing female friends, women that are beautiful, talented, smart, kind, and witty. It's just the act of being cocky (specifically from women) that I find repulsive. At the first sign of arrogance a barrier goes up that will usually prevent us from ever being more than just casual acquaintances.

So I guess that's why we all get to choose who we want to be friends with. I'll no longer pressure my friend to be buddy buddy with a cheapskate.What traits are your deal breakers, and/or are you guilty of having any double standards? Spill it!!

Moving is a bitch!

On August 25th we put our house on the market. We've been really happy in our current home, but we know it's just a matter of time before we outgrow it, and with the boys getting bigger we really want to have a yard. Our thinking was that with the housing market the way it is IF we could find a buyer, we'd be in a sweet position to buy. My hopes were low, but because we weren't in a desperate situation where we were being forced to move, we were fully prepared to wait months for the right offer to come along. My feelings changed as I realized what a huge pain it is to have your home on the market, keeping it not just clean but "show-ready" all the time with a toddler and a preschooler underfoot was near impossible. Also, because I don't have a car I'd always pack the kids in the stroller and take off to the park during the two to three hour window the agents would give me to show the house only to have them show up late just as I was putting the kids down to nap. This happened often and I found it infuriating!

In the middle of September we received an offer. By the time we were done negotiating counteroffers it was September 22, and part of the buyer's conditions were that we be out by October 1st. Say what?! So that basically gave us 8 days to find a home, make an offer on a home, arrange for a place to live until our new home is ready, pack up, find a storage unit, and move. Crazy! And it's not like we were able to put life on hold while we took care of business. We both still had to work and take care of the boys, although I fear they have been seriously neglected during the past week and a half. (Thank goodness for Nick Jr.)

I've been equating the stress and pain of moving to that of child birth. When you're in the midst of it you're thinking, "Why the hell did I do this to myself!?! This sucks!! I'm miserable! NEVER AGAIN!!!" But once you're all settled into your nice new home (or you're holding that precious new baby in your arms) you forget all the pain and you truly don't remember its intensity until you're going through it again. The problem is, I'm still waiting for my baby! We're currently at the mercies of the good graces of my mom and dad who have taken us in until we can close on our new home. The boys are loving it. I'm afraid they'll never want to leave! But obviously Chris and I are anxious (probably not as anxious as my parents) to have our own place again.

Our new home will be in Herriman. We're going to keep a bunch of $5.00 gas cards on hand to give to anyone kind enough to come visit us because man is it far! I never thought we would be so far west. But we looked at a ton of places and for our price range it was the best home for our money. And it really only adds 10 minutes to our commute each way. It's in a great neighborhood with a huge park right across the street and a library, gym, grocery store, gas station, and restaurants all within walking distance. We're really excited.

I want to give a huge shout out to those who helped us during this crazy move!
1. To Julie and Mike who, when I asked if we could live with them for a few weeks, didn't even hesitate to say yes, even when they thought that it could be as long as three months. They are really sacrificing the comfort and routine of their normal lives to accommodate our family and we really appreciate it! My mom provided endless hours of babysitting while I packed and moved, and my dad helped us move some stuff to the house on Tuesday.
2. To our dear friends Pedro and Paula who helped us pack and took time off of work on Tuesday to spend the entire day helping us move.
3. To our friend and favorite babysitter Alex who spent lots of time helping me pack and taking care of the kids. On Monday night when I was the most stressed she took the boys to the park and to Jungle Jim's and on Tuesday she stayed home from school to help us load the moving van and clean the house. She vacuumed the entire house for me.
4. To Judy and Terry for watching the boys Sunday afternoon.
5. To Robin for watching the boys while we house hunted.

We could not have done it without you all so thank you!!! And please let us know when we can return the favor!! If you're upset that you didn't make the list, don't worry, we'll be needing many more kind hearted volunteers to lend a hand when we move into our new home. :)

Trickle Down Economics, Let's hash it out

Don't be too disappointed that it is another Chris Post.

I do not consider myself a very intelligent person, but I am generally very
curious and really want to understand some things better, especially politics.
Luckily for me I am surrounded by exceptional family and friends who are sharp
and informed. This election has motivated me to try to dive deeper into politics
than I have ever before attempted. I have many criticism of both of our dominant
political parties but would like to continually provoke discussion on some fundamental topics that I don't hear enough about. I appreciate how professional and classy all of my associations have been as far as not stooping to the loaded manipulative language that we get from our general media. I'm so proud you.

Lately I have been trying to better understand "trickle down" economics and if
this approach has been valuable to our country. I have attached a link to an
article that is critical of Reagan era changes to the economy. The reason I
think this article may be valuable is because of the the information presented from the the Census Bureau regarding household income. (it is all cited and linked to the Census Bureau website) This writer argues that the intention of trickle down policies was never to benefit the poor from the beginning which I don't necessarily believe. But whatever the true motivation, it is important to evaluate how it has done.

Please, if you have time and would like to share your opinion, review the graphs and information presented here and let me know what you think. Is there additional information and statistics that you feel counter the claims in this article? Please share. I just want to use this article to spur a dialogue between friends and family on this subject.

If the information presented by the Census Bureau is correct, it would seem that
a trickle down approach to economics has had a 20 year trial to make its case
and has failed to benefit our society as a whole. Instead, it has increased the gap between the rich and poor. Though the economy has prospered, that money has never made it down to the middle and lower class who has averaged the same salary since the 70's. When taking into consideration how many more women are working and how much more accessible credit is, that fact is staggering. Do you disagree with this
information? Is there something that is not being taken into consideration? Please share what you know on the subject. I don't want people to use the reasoning that if you reject this approach you have to subscribe to the opposite extreme ( Ex. The whole dissing on a Democrat President to defend stupid policies of a Republican one, or vice versa ) I want an honest weighing of pros and cons. I would not ask your opinions if they did not mean a lot to me. Please share your opinion on the subject even if you do not feel entirely informed.

Thank you everybody for your participation. Be patient with me if you feel I am naive, but now is your chance to lay it down. Thank you.

here is the link

http://rationalrevolution.net/war/trickle_down.htm

Ellen + Portia = Forever

If you know me at all you know how I feel about my girl Ellen. I haven't crushed on a girl so hard since my kick boxing instructor at Gold's Gym. Chris used to find it amusing how I'd make up excuses to talk to her after class and at how nervous and giddy I'd get around her. But those feelings pale in comparison to how I feel about Ellen. Ah... So it's with much love and and equal amount of jealousy that I congratulate Ellen and Portia on their summer nuptials.

No matter your feelings on same sex marriage, you'd have to be a robot to not be touched by this video. Check it out...

A disturbing insight regarding VP Sarah Palin (A rare post by Chris)

Hello everybody. Since her amazing introductory speech at the Republican Convention last week, VP candidate Sarah Palin has been the hottest topic of conversation within all of my social circles. My friends, family, and co-workers have been talking about little else other than this firecracker who impressed us so much with her speech. Most people agree that Palin has been an excellent choice to balance out many of the concerns that people have against Senator John McCain. Some even think she has stolen the spotlight from him. Right now even Republicans seem to want someone who is not afraid to take on their own party to help it return to the traditional standards for which it originally stood. Sarah Palin has left a strong impression of being just that sort of person. However, I recently came across a reply post from a woman named Anne Kilkenny, a resident of Wasilla Alaska who has known Sarah Palin since 1992. She is on a first name basis with Sarah as well as her parents and in-laws. She is extremely active in attending city council meetings and has always been heavily involved in her community. She has submitted a very detailed review of Palin's work in Wasilla that I think sounds pretty legitimate but of course needs to be followed up on (She has posted her e-mail for people to folow up with to ensure that her information is not fabricated). I would be interested to know what other people's responses are to this post and if you think this opinion has legitimate weight. I'm not trying to be contentious. We all know she gave a really impressive speech, but I would like to hear some dialogue about some of the issues discussed in this posting. I think that this election is something for the history books. I have never known an election that has brought people into the issues more than this one. We are all very involved. I know that political issues, though very frustrating at times, are important for us to understand and I would like to encourage other people to discuss these issues in a non aggressive way. Thank you.

Here is the link

 http://my2bucks.wordpress.com/2008/09/02/a-letter-from-someone-who-has-known-sarah-palin-since-1992/

Why it’s phat to be fat… for me anyway.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been fat. Even when I was thin I was fatter than other girls my age. If you’ve known me for any length of time I’m sure you’ve been aware of some time that I’ve been on one crazy diet or another in an attempt to lose weight. Well, not anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I have no plans to let myself go completely, I just REFUSE to allow my weight to be an issue of stress and insecurity any longer. Why this change of heart? I think in part it’s because with the birth of my babies I’ve seen my body do amazing things. It’s really hard to loath a body that for nine months was the home and sole source of nutrients for the two most important people in my life.

Also, in the process of becoming more self aware, I’m trying to set realistic goals for myself. I am simply never going to be super skinny. I love food way too much. I dare say I love food more than the average person. It would require way more work and sacrifice than I am willing to give at this time. As it is, I feel like I work damn hard to maintain my current weight. I try to make it to the gym 3 times a week and I’ll occasionally slip in one or two extra work outs at home. I watch what I eat to a certain extent. 8 days out of 10 I really am ok with what I look like. I don’t love being in a swim suit, but I don’t avoid activities that require one either. I can pack one kid in a baby back pack and put two in a stroller, walk a mile to the park in the hot sun and not get winded. And, as my good friend Melissa pointed out a long time ago, I only take up one seat on an airplane.

I’ve also discovered how my fat serves me. (Let’s be honest, if it didn’t I might make it a higher priority to lose weight.)

Reason #1: Women aren’t intimidated around me. I give them a basis of comparison where they always come out ahead. In a social situation women are always happy to see someone among them who is fatter than they are, I’m that girl! It makes them feel better about themselves and also helps them feel comfortable eating. They can look at what I serve myself and as long as they don’t eat more they’re in great shape. Who doesn’t love a girl who can eat?! I can get away with talking and being friendly to their husbands without them feeling threatened in any way.

Reason #2: I can and do really enjoy food. I usually eat one sweet treat a day, something I couldn’t get away with if I was trying to be supper skinny. Also, if I miss a work out here or there I don’t stress about it.

Reason #3(my favorite reason): People assume that I’m GREAT in the sack. Let’s face it, when people see a really attractive guy with a chubby girl they think, “Wow! She must be a real generous lover!” Now I’m not going to confirm or deny anything, but I like it being assumed that I’m a good lay.

Watch out for the Mama Bear!

We took the boys to Arctic Circle for ice cream tonight. Topher quickly finished his ice cream cone so that he could play in their in-door play ground. A little boy (who I'll refer to as Booger for the sake of the story) was standing in the entrance and as Topher passed him Booger kicked him in the shin! Topher looked a little stunned but continued in and headed towards the slide. I immediately approached Booger (who looked to be at least 8 years old) and told him, "I saw that! Why did you kick him?" -no answer. I lowered my voice a little and looked Booger square in the eye and said, "I'm going to be watching you." He looked kind of scared and then walked away.

Not a minute later Booger saw Topher at the top of the slide and ran up to deliberately block him from coming down. Booger was in Topher's face, and Topher didn't know what to do. This time I loudly charged towards him saying, "HEY! Stop being so rude! He's a little kid. Let him go down." I know, scary right? I can trash talk with the best of them. Booger pushed past him, Topher went down the slide, and I went back to the table where Chris and Max were sitting. Chris hadn't seen anything, but when he saw me he said, "was that you yelling at other people's kids?" Damn straight. So obviously I had been loud enough that everyone outside of the play area could hear, and yet none of the parents seemed the slightest bit concerned that A)some stranger was yelling at their child, or B)that their child was being a bully.

I decided to stay in the play area until it was time to go, thinking that my presence would be enough to discourage Booger from picking on my three year old anymore, but before I knew it Booger had Topher cornered again, this time he had one of his friends block the back entrance of a tube while Booger blocked the front where Topher was trying to exit. Booger was holding a piece of string in both hands, teasing Topher by pressing it against Topher's face and neck.

This time I spoke as loudly as I could without yelling and said, "Where are your parents? Where are they?"

"I'm not telling you," Booger answered, in a classic 'you're not the boss of me' type of voice.

"Fine! I'll just go out there and ask who the parents are of the little boy in the blue stripped shirt who likes to be mean to little kids, and then I'll tell them that you aren't playing very nicely!" I threatened. This time Booger looked a little concerned.

But I was so mad and embarrassed by then that I just picked up the boys and left. As I was leaving I saw Booger go out and sit by his parents who still hadn't done a thing during this whole encounter. Grrrrrrrr! I was fuming the whole way home. I was angry, but I was also concerned that perhaps I had overreacted. Chris assured me that I hadn't saying that he feels like it's important for kids that age to feel the awkwardness and embarrassment of having another adult angry at them when they behave like a jerk. It's how they learn what's appropriate behavior in a social situation.

Have any of you ever yelled at someone else's child? Please share.